Now Entering Parenthood...

I will teach my child to be more patient
I will teach my child to be more empathetic
I will be more patient and empathetic
I will encourage my husband to be patient too
I will stop being a backseat parent

I will make my child healthier meals
I will make my child eat those healthier meals
I will not use bargaining or rewards
I will make mealtime more calm and enjoyable

I will spend more time with my kids
I will pay more attention to my kids
I will enjoy my kids, and care less about _______ (work, house, finances)
I will care less about what other people think

I will stop feeling so guilty
I will start thinking about what I’m doing right
I will go the fuck to sleep… I need to go to sleep

Kids are a pain in the ass. Kids are the most amazing thing you can do in life. Sure, I haven’t saved a life or climbed Everest or given a year to humanitarian aid… But I still feel like at the end of all that I would come back feeling like having kids was the most meaningful thing I did in my life. For people without kids, I’m sure that sounds at best cliche and at worst self-centered. For people with kids, I am sure it strikes one of those chords deep in your heart, one of those ones that aches.

It’s all because I read this article which should be required reading for anyone who has kids, anyone thinking about having kids, or anyone who wonders why the hell any of us have kids…

“As an adult, you may think you’ve roughly mapped the continent of love and relationships. You’ve loved your parents, a few of your friends, eventually a significant other. You have some tentative cartography to work with from your explorations. You form ideas about what love is, its borders and boundaries. Then you have a child, look up to the sky, and suddenly understand that those bright dots in the sky are whole other galaxies.”

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH SIMON
A friend of mine once asked me, “Don’t you feel like this is the first time you’ve experienced unconditional love.” And when I hesitated, she asked, “You don’t think you really had unconditional love with Tom, now do you?”

The question resonated. Was she feeling something more with her son than I was with mine? Or did I just love Tom more than she realized? 

My love affair with Simon has always been what I would call comfortable, observant, respectful. There was this moment I had when Simon was barely a week old, and I laid him on my chest as he fell asleep and started singing him a song. I began sobbing uncontrollably. The love I was feeling was so new, so raw, so deep and scary that I think from that moment on I tried to keep it in check.

There is no mistake. I love Simon with all my heart, but because I was so afraid of that deep raw uncontrollable burst of love… I think I rushed my love affair with Simon straight from honeymoon to old married couple. Simon and I are an awesome team. He can have his bad days, I can have my bad days and we both know we are still made for each other.

We have our secret language, our jokes, our way of communicating even without words. He’s confident that when he wakes up in the morning that I will be right there waiting for him. He’s so confident that he is not afraid to wander off in the mall, go explore the world, do his own thing… Mommy is home base, but Mommy is not the most interesting thing in the world. We are comfortable.

And the only time I have ever been scared for ‘us’ is about a month before #2, Mr. Charlie, came into this world. I started getting really scared about how Simon would feel. And I made this completely secret, and also completely naive, promise to myself to always put Simon’s needs first. Simon trumped this unborn baby, but that’s because I had not ever met this baby…

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH CHARLIE

“The Cancer man knows exactly how to a take a woman into his Crabby grip and keep her there forever. Maybe he squeezes a little too hard, pulls you a little too close. But you don’t mind.”

Let me start by saying I think astrology is bunk, but this quote had me believing. My little Cancer boy is clingy, rough, tough and I love it. Every time he entangles his baby fingers in my hair, pulls HARD, and dives his little baby face with hot breath into mine… I feel alive, I feel in love. Charlie love is visceral, in your face, here and now, and for some reason I am allowing myself to soak in it, I am letting it seep into my bones.

I love Charlie like a new obsession. Like the freshest of crushes. If I spend a day without him, I find myself obsessively thinking of him, guilty I cannot be with him. If he has a bad day where he isn’t in the best of moods, it hits me hard… Does he doubt my love for him? Does he feel like he isn’t getting enough of me?

It’s deliciously toxic and intense. I am letting myself experience all the vulnerability and insanity that I felt in that one moment with Simon and terrified me. With Charlie, I swim in it. I let it get to me.

There are these odd moments in the day, when I am holding him, where I envision terrifying things. Like, what if I just let go and dropped him down the stairs? What if I just left him here out in the cold? I don’t know why my subconscious inserts such horrors in my head, but I think it is the equivalent of putting your finger on a shocker. It’s a quick painful hit that gives you adrenaline.

I feel that shock, and I squeeze Charlie close, hard… Like someone is trying to take him away from me. Like tomorrow he won’t be there. And I realize how I no longer can survive without him. This small little man that I was so willing to put his needs below Simon’s… Now I just honestly couldn’t live unless he was alive as well.

I am nurturing a mama’s boy. I no longer care about independence. I just want his crabby claws dug into my heart forever. But I know I need to begin to let go some day, I am just nowhere near ready yet…

MY NEXT BIG LOVE
No, this doesn’t mean I am thinking about having another kid. Although I have learned that there is room in a mother’s heart for many many loves, I do think that I have hit my personal limit. Everyone has their personal limit.

What I mean by my next big love is that I am starting to feel this warm swelling in my chest, this new fluttering crush sensation, this wonder and this peace… And it is attached to this new idea. It’s brothers. Every time I see Simon and Charlie interacting without me, when I see the sense of wonder in Charlie’s eyes watching Simon or Simon doing something sweet… “Der ya go Charlie”. Handing Charlie toys, trying to make him laugh.

I crave more of it. It’s addictive, and I get teary eyed just writing it. I want so badly for these two boys to find love in each other the way I have found love in both of them. Nothing in life could make me happier…

THE EPILOGUE
Yeah, yeah… So I guess there is also some big life news and stuff too. Charlie turned 7 months old, and is starting to get up on all fours (just barely). He finally cut two teeth and is starting to sleep through the night on occasion again. He loves Ollie probably more than any other living creature in the world. The mere thought of that cat sets him into squealy giggles.

And then there is Simon. Now the two year old. A big number, and yet that still scares me less than the idea of Charlie turning one this summer. Simon is such a big boy now… Dancing, imagining his stuffed animals are real, jumping, watching movies, making up his own delightful routines, like naming off every body part on his face for us to kiss before bed (eyes, nose, cheek, chin, other cheek, head).

But best of all… Simon Giles Strickland is potty trained. Let’s hear it for a delightful little man and no more diaper changes. Sigh :)

That’s all I’ve got. May each of you enjoy your children and the loves in your life in your own unique ways. After all, why else are we alive? I’ll end with another quote from that awesome article that keeps echoing in my head…

The first four years of your life. Do you remember them? What’s your earliest memory? It is fascinating watching your child claw their way up the developmental ladder from baby to toddler to child. All this stuff we take for granted, but your baby will painstakingly work their way through trial and error: eating, moving, walking, talking. Arms and legs, how the hell do they work? Turns out, we human beings are kind of amazing animals. There’s no better way to understand just how amazing humans are than the front row seat a child gives you to observe it all unfold from scratch each and every day, from literal square zero. Children give the first four years of your life back to you.

I meant to put this up the minute we got back from visiting Uncle “On” and Aunt “Rocky” in California, but I got distracted. Without further ado, here are our tips and tricks for what the toddler-approved activities are in the greater LA area.

GRIFFITH PARK
With Lon and Roxy living right next door, we found ourselves at this LA iconic park multiple times. More specifically, we visited a playground called Shane’s Inspiration, Travel Town Museum, and went for a hike up to Griffith Observatory. There is actually even more to do in the park, including a current zoo and an abandoned zoo, merry-go-round, pony rides, and so much more. And the best part of all… it’s all FREE.

What Simon Loved
Running up and down the big empty train cars in the Travel Town Museum, bouncing on the tracks, hearing his echo. Picking up a walking stick and venturing into the woods. And you can never go wrong with a big large playground safe to let a toddler go wild.

What Simon Didn’t Love
Having to walk for too long, especially when Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t let him venture off the track for fear of falling off the side of the mountain.

SKIRBALL CULTURAL CENTER
This place is a hdden gem for sure. You have to get tickets ahead of time, and they aren’t particularly cheap for a museum where you will only be going to one exhibit… but the Noah’s Ark exhibit is amazing and you can kill a solid few hours just in it’s four incredibly interactive rooms. Religion not required!!

What Simon Loved
Loading all the animals two by two onto a track that you could move to pull them up into the ark. Using brooms to sweep up the fake poop. Making your own storm sounds. Playing with animal puppets (actually Charlie at 5 months old LOVED the puppets and lightning even more than Simon).

What Simon Didn’t Love
Not much. He wanted so badly to climb up the ropes into the upper part of the rooms, but wasn’t old enough or coordinated enough. He also wasn’t too interested in the lady trying to make him dance like an animal. But for other kids, it would be great.

LA BREA TAR PITS
This museum was incredibly small and far too much money when considering all the amazing free LA activities. It might be worth a visit if you are nearby, just to walk the grounds. Or if you have an older kid really into fossils. But in general it’s a pretty skippable stop. 

What Simon Loved
Running around in the big open spaces outside. Climbing the giant staircase to get a look at the trees on the roof. Hiding in the jurassic sized plants in the gardens.

What Simon Didn’t Love
Having to stay away from those interesting looking bones and stuffed animals. Blocked only by velvet ropes which seem pretty easy to get around, except mom and dad keep pulling me away.

CALIFORNIA SCIENCE CENTER
Huge, interesting to adults and kids alike and OMG… FREE!! I don’t think I’ve ever been to a cool science center that was free, let alone one this awesome. We only got to explore the Ecosystems and Living World exhibits, but that was enough. Good for kids of all ages (well, except maybe Charlie’s age, but even then they had designated “family” rooms with puppets and puzzles and things to chew).

What Simon Loved
Jumping on the big bed in the Blues Clues looking Family Discovery Room. Building puzzles with puppets. Running around. Touching a giant ice wall. Watching a flash flood, waves, giant fish. Seeing bugs eating away at rotting dirt. Standing in front of a giant wind machine.

What Simon Didn’t Love
There is a good number of exhibits that are too tall, too complicated, or too boring for a 2 year old… microscopes, movies. But there were so many that were enjoyable that I am having a hard time remember what was bad.

SANTA MONICA PIER & BEACH
This was one of the few places I had been before. I knew I wanted to come back, but didn’t know how much time we could really kill here. The answer = pretty much the whole day. Between the beach, the playgrounds, the rides, the shops, and the pier itself… you can do a lot. And we didn’t even get to the giant carousel or the aquarium.

What Simon Loved
Running up and down the pier chasing pigeons and listening to his feet on the wood. Cheesy rides where he could control the plane he was in moving up and down. Free stuff like the sand, the sun, and the ocean… especially running in the sun to throw clumps full of muddy sand in the ocean. Good thing we had extra clothes.

What Simon Didn’t Love
Having to walk for very long up and down the beach because the stroller sure wasn’t cutting it in the sand. Simon also really wanted to figure out the paid binoculars, but couldn’t understand how to close one eye and look through the eye piece with the other.

DISNEYLAND
The mother of all childhood experiences. Does it work for a 2 year old? Answer is a resounding YES. Disneyland pretty much works for everyone. Our top Disneyland moments included meeting Mickey Mouse and watching Simon’s face as we went through some amazing rides. He got so excited by the end that he would say “more ride” the minute we got off one.

What Simon Loved
Who knew, but Simon LOVED Mickey Mouse. He gave him a big hug, he honked his nose and tried to touch his eye. He was super shy and happy and then very adoring. Simon also loved all the colors, sounds, movement, music, spectacle. He loved the rides… Small World, Buzz Lightyear, Haunted Mansion.

What Simon Didn’t Love
Waiting!! And worse yet, rides becoming broken after you waited. We minimized wait times by arriving early, using fast passes, having a wait time app. We made the waits we did have enjoyable with snacks and having entertaining stuff to look at (videos on phones help). But in the end you have to balance rides with run around and explore time, or you will have an unhappy toddler.

FINALLY… DETROIT METRO AIRPORT
I hadn’t even really thought about it until looking through my videos, but Simon LOVED the airport. Detroit McNamara Terminal is a real winner. Not only do you have a giant tram, but endless series of moving walks, and who doesn’t love that psychedelic light up tunnel. Simon and I got to spend a good hour here by ourselves killing time while Tom ran back to the house to get his forgotten cell phone before our flight. Yeah DTW!!

Lately I’ve been having an overwhelming feeling. I’ve been having it so much that it even has a name… it’s called “Charlie guilt”. I’ve slowly come to the realization that no matter how hard I try, Charlie will never have the undivided attention, the consistency, and the priority that Simon had his age.

Charlie is destined to be a different kid and he already is. He spends a good portion of his days watching the rather exciting life of an almost 2 year old toddler, which isn’t all bad… but I’m having a hard time finding the balance between keeping Simon happy and giving Charlie what he really needs.

Let’s Talk About Simon
Simon woke up one morning recently and decided he really wanted to talk. There has been no stopping ever since. Simon has learned the valuable lesson that you can get by in the world on very little. If you just combine nouns and concepts (i.e. “pancake”, “hot”, “park”, “candy cane”, “Mickey”) with simple descriptive phrases (i.e. “all done”, “no”, “more”, “hi”, “bye bye”), that’s pretty much all you need. In the world of a toddler, your communication desires focus on wanting to acknowledge when things come, when things go, and when things happen. And more importantly, you want to be able to tell people when you want more of something you currently do not have (“more pie”) or you want something to stop that you aren’t enjoying (“all done plane”).

Besides talking, Simon is getting extremely interested in socializing. He loves to dance. He loves to make Mom and Dad laugh. He likes to say “Hi!” to random people on street. He’s a sweet kid that sees the value of sharing (most of the time), of making someone else smile, and of encouraging others to participate with him. When he feels like he is done something to make someone else happy, he shines as a result. He also likes figuring things out on his own, and feeling like he has mastered something challenging.

The times when he isn’t his best are usually the times when his needs aren’t met. If he’s hungry, tired, or bored… if I’ve taken him into an exciting situation and then immediately given him boundaries that are hard for him to understand. Those are on me. But… there are still times where he wants something so badly that he is unable to understand that he cannot have it. Those are the opportunities I have to teach him valuable life lessons. But THAT isn’t easy and THAT takes time. And now that Charlie is in the world, it happen to take time away from Charlie and his needs…

Let’s Talk About Charlie
Charlie is a very happy baby. He smiles constantly. He comes in for snuggles (although that sometimes results in a head butt and a hair grab). He even hides is face from strangers, because he can’t contain how happy he is when he gets smiles back. But this happiness is also a problem, because I take it for granted. Because he such a happy baby, I find it easier to justify pushing his nap or not coming to get him right away. It’s harder for me to notice that he is not getting what he needs.

Charlie’s problems are becoming our problems. Sleep is an issue. Charlie doesn’t get enough sleep during the day and that leads to him being very restless and overly tired at night. Who can blame him? Charlie wants to watch, he doesn’t want to sleep… and mom and dad aren’t making it easy anyway. They are running around during the weekends, taking Simon out for fun. The result is that Charlie is a pretty exhausted little baby.

It’s not just sleep that feeds into this “Charlie guilt”. It’s also the idea of what I had time to do with Simon… like sing songs, talk to him, get on the floor with him during tummy time and actually play and interact no matter how exhausted I was. I don’t get to do that as much with Charlie, and instead of teaching him to enjoy independent play and discovery, it’s more about being held by mommy, watching big brother, and getting upset whenever she leaves the room.

Whether rational or not, I have to try and actively overcome my Charlie guilt each and every day. I have to remind myself that in a world where I gave into every single need of Charlie, I would create a world in which Simon would become a sad, frustrated, bored, jealous boy… where discipline isn’t enforced with care and consistency… and that’s not acceptable either. I can’t get rid of Charlie guilt only to create Simon guilt.  Instead I need to find the balance and I need to be okay that I’m never going to feel like I’m completely doing everything I need to do.

That’s the balance of having two kids. It’s something I am learning more about every day, and hopefully at some point I will feel like I’m a master at it.

Alright, so first things first… Last time Charlie was only one month and you called him a little alien without much of a personality.

How would you describe Charlie now?
He’s a snuggly smiley little munchkin. I love him. He’s so chill. And definitely a chubby ball of fun. Definitely chubbier than Simon was at this age.

What’s your favorite thing about Charlie at 4 months?
The amount of smiles I’m getting. He’s so happy all the time, I just have to look at him and he smiles back like “Hi Daddy”. He’s permagrin.

What’s an area that could use some improvement?
I guess sleeping but he’s starting to get better. He’s doing just fine. I consider us lucky that he is even sleeping as good as he is at this age. But consistency would be nice.

Like how last week he slept through the night 4 times, and this week he’s up 4 times a night? Yeah, consistency would be pretty nice…

What are you looking forward to next?
That’s a tough one. I honestly don’t want hit to change. If I could freeze him like this I would. I don’t want him to be mobile. I just wish he could stay like this forever. He’s just a snuggly ball of love.

Last interview you also talked about how you were most looking forward to being able to talk to Simon and having him respond. Tell me about Simon now…
He’s definitely come a lot farther. Simon is like a little buddy now. Halloween was just one of the best times I have ever had with him. He’s just so much smarter, that you can tell him what you want him to do and he understands.

Like after a couple houses he understood the process of what we were doing and he loved it. Trick or treating is not something he’s ever been told about, but you explain, “This is what trick or treating is” and he’s like “Okay I get it, this is fun”… The walking up to the door, the putting the candy in the bucket, the walking away on his own and saying “Byeeeee.”

What’s another recent favorite Simon moment?
Just his humor. He knows that messing up my hair is funny. How does he know that? And then there are some things I taught him. Like the way I reacted to his stinky diapers, now whenever he farts or poops he goes “Ewwww” and waves his hand in front of his nose.

What’s your favorite new Simon phrase?
“Oooh No!” He talks a lot, there aren’t many phrases, but there are some like “Mama Dee” (Mommy’s drink). But I still just love the way he says “Hi!”

Just last night I came up to say goodnight. It’s weird to walk into a room that is pitch black and just hear this little voice in the corner go “Hi!”. If it wasn’t so damn cute, it would be horrifying.

How has Simon been driving you nuts?
He’s strong willed now. Like I took him out to rake leaves with me and I thought he would be interested in helping me picking up sticks, and I could hang out with my son. And he wouldn’t at all. He just kept running into the garage and trying to get on the moped. He isn’t good at focusing, or he just isn’t interested or something.

Do you think he is a good big brother?
Apparently day care says they see things that we don’t. He will run over to Charlie and protect him if anyone comes near him. He checks on him through out the day. I love the occasional kiss that Simon decides to give Charlie. So far he’s pretty loving.

We are about to go on our first big family trip… Any fears or things you area looking forward to?
The plane ride I am most afraid of, but also the time change is terrifying. Those are scary obstacles to get over with two kids. But I am excited to see Simon and if he will have fun at Disneyland or any of the places we take him to. I’m looking forward to him going “WOW!” I could listen to that all day. He is so impressed by everything.

Fast forward to next summer or the one after… What are you looking forward to the most with the boys?
Activities that we can do together that are more engaging, like when I was out there raking leaves. I want him to stay by my side and not wander off. I want him to be like a little sidekick. He kinda is but he is just too curious about everything. And who knows what Charlie will be like.

That’s kinda lame… Like your are looking forward to raking leaves with your son. Making them do chores. What about camping or opening their eyes to new things?

Your are misinterpreting. I mean like having a ball and getting him to play catch. Any activity where he is actively involved with me. He can do that sometime now, like playing a game with me on the iPad, but I want him to last a little longer.

Any closing thoughts?
When we told people we were having Charlie so close to Simon, people were all sympathetic and telling us how it was going to suck. But now that we are in it, I feel like we are doing just fine. It doesn’t feel like an impossible burden. I’m not saying its easy, but I was afraid that I’d be dwelling on it every day. That we didn’t have things the way we planned, but now it feels fun having them this close. Once they both can walk and they can be real brothers… That’s going to be fun, I hope they stay buddies.

I’m in love… I’m just smitten with a handsome little man named “Charlie”. I don’t even know how to describe it, other than it feeling like complete infatuation.

I’m trying not to feel guilty over the other “loves” in my life. Maybe it is because I returned to work this week and maybe it is because Simon has been a complete wreck (exhausted, cranky, tired, sick… poor baby). But, I find myself daydreaming about pulling Charlie tight into my chest and kissing his squishy soft neck more than ever before. I also find this unbearable guilt that I am missing out daily on his sweet smiles and coos.

I don’t remember feeling quite this strong of separation anxiety with Simon. Maybe it’s because I know this will be my last baby, and maybe it’s because I know what I’m going to miss when this phase is over. Or perhaps just I’m a little more relaxed about exactly what to do with a 3 month old, since I’ve had one before… and I am able to better appreciate all the snuggly sweetness that Charlie brings to the table.

Sigh… either way, it’s hard not to remember back to the days of summer. My “Simon + Charlie” days were always action packed. We went to as many places as our energy and time would allow. We would go to parks, run around, draw with chalk, finger paint, build blanket forts, sing songs. But my “Charlie” days were just amazingly chill… sometimes I would just snuggle with him in the bed or out on our deck for hours while reading. Sometimes I would take him shopping and enjoy the smiles he cast my way while we wandered around the store.

Oh Charlie!! The idea that someone else is receiving those smiles from you all day long is killing me right now. You are my carrot during a hard days work… the idea that I get to come home and pinch your little chin keeps me going all day long.

I decided to keep track of the things I heard Simon say through out the summer. Right before I had Charlie, I realized that the list of words that Simon used or I had once heard him say (two very different things) was getting a bit long to just keep in memory, plus he was picking up new words at a rapid pace.

(click to view full list)

By the end of the summer, I have assembled quite a lengthy list, and I’m pretty amazed by the diversity of sound, gestures, actual words, and made up language that this growing little man exhibits. So here is how the categories break down…

The Everyday Words
These are the words that you can get Simon to say over and over again when prompted (“Say doggie”). These are the words he will say unprompted when he sees a picture or a real life version. They may not sound exactly like the way we say them, but they are part of his everyday vocabulary.

Examples: Wow-wah (flower), shoe, doggie, ducky, diddy (kitty), ball, gah (car), oppy (happy), dibba-dibba-dibba (Yo Gabba Gabba)

Demands and Expressions
These are harder to get him to say on demand, because they are associated with things he wants. Sometimes he says them so forcefully and with such emotion that I wonder if he even realizes what he is saying, or if he is just slipping out phrases he things he has heard before. Some of these are used everyday, some come out only when he really means business.

Examples: All done, down, mow (more), I need it, I want it, I want out, now

 The Lazy Language
I guess it’s not giving him enough credit to call it “lazy”, but Simon has decided that some words aren’t worth the effort of pronouncing the whole thing. Or maybe the whole thing is just too hard to pronounce. Or maybe the English language just sounds too much the same to his toddler ears, but he has invented a whole language of first letters or sounds that relates to a whole series of words.

Examples: Bee (bear, bunny, berry, any fruit), Dee (drink, cheese), Ah (on, off, hot) 

It Sounds Like This
Some objects have such interesting sounds associated with them that the sound overrules the actual word. We know he knows the word because you can ask him to “Say ______” (water, moped, etc) and he choses instead to make the sound. He knows what it is, what it is called, but prefers to speak in sounds.

Examples: vehicles = “brrrrrrrrr”, water = “psssshhhhh”, stinky = “ew” and wave your hand, yucky = makes a fart noise, yummy = “mmmmm” 

The Magic Disappearing Words
These are words Simon has said once (or sometimes more than once that day). I have them on my list, and then they are never heard from again. Tom writes them off until he hears them himself, as would I… so I am at a loss to try and replicate them.

Examples: Elmo, Brobee, food, peas, milk, kick, horsey, blue, shirt, turtle, bike

The Great Unknown
Then there are just phrases and words and sounds that roll out of his mouth so confidently that I am at a loss to understand. It took us months to figure out “dibba-dibba-dibba” meant Yo Gabba Gabba. It’s enough to drive a person crazy, but it also makes me realize that if I hadn’t spent my summer carefully observing my in progress human experiment, I may not be as good at communicating with him as I even am. It’s a crazy language, that of a toddler, but I feel pretty smart having cracked the code this much.

The Players: Mommy vs Toddler
The Challenge: Keep toddler occupied, while keeping mommy sane

With the support of playdates, a spouse, parents, friends and a local line-up of incredible toddler friendly venues… I am happy to say I not only survived my summer maternity leave with both a newborn and a toddler, but it was possibly the best summer of my life.

I feel like I know so much more about my child, my surrounding area, and motherhood than I did a mere 10 weeks ago. Not just 10 weeks later, but 6 parks, 5 museums, 4 waterparks, 3 beaches, 2 farms, and 1 zoo later… 

Best Outdoor Park = Hess Hathaway
I do love Dodge Park #5, which is enclosed in white pines and offers giant soccer fields for an energetic toddler to run wild on. But the prize has to go to Hess Hathaway, which has a huge toddler friendly playscape, a giant sandbox, a maze, a shaded eating area, and a petting farm. Priorities for a good park this summer included enough shade to park and nurse Charlie, low traffic, and a safe enough area to let Simon run wild without me having to run after him every minute.

Not so toddler friendly is the park at Inglenook Park in Southfield and Milford Central Park. Both are really awesome parks, but only offer parental stress in the way of ultra tall slides, insanely busy traffic, nearby fast streams, etc. Maybe next summer.

Best Waterpark = Waterford Oaks (outdoor), Huron Valley schools (indoor)
I have not been to Red Oaks Water Park, but I have been to Kensington Metro Park’s Splash ‘n’ Blast. Kensington is nice because there is the beach and the splash ‘n’ blast area, which is pretty much all toddler friendly and Simon approved. Priorities for a good waterpark included shaded seating, not too deep water, and access to food. Splash ‘n’ Blast fails to bring the food and the shade.

Waterford Oaks in Waterford, however, has great food, plenty of shade, and a fairly toddler-friendly play structure that has kept Simon busy for hours. He also enjoys the wave pool. But, unlike the regular parks, I have never attempted a water adventure with the kids without another adult… but a low key day at Waterford Oaks might be doable. Charlie naps in the shade within clear eyesight, and if he gets hungry there is always a stroller to strap Simon into while I nurse.

The Huron Valley high schools, both Lakeland and Milford high school offer indoor waterparks, which are far cheaper than Waterford Oaks, and offer some deep water to practice swimming (which Simon doesn’t love yet). Only drawback is no strollers allowed, so no way of restraining an active toddler if the newborn needs attention.

Best Day Trip for a Rainy Day = Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum
Not really a full “day trip”… for that I’m loving Great Lakes Crossing Mall, which has a kids play area, Rainforest Cafe, a carousel, and lots of interesting stores and room to run around. But none of that can compete with the look of sheer joy that came over Simon’s face when he realized that coin + machine = action at Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum. The best part is that the machines are so close together that there isn’t much room for a toddler to shimmy his way behind or wreck general toddler havoc. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through quarters so quickly!!

Best Day Trip for a Sunny Day = Greenfield Village
Henry Ford Museum was kinda a bust. Simon liked looking at the cars and big trains, but the museum is pretty tiny for the cost of entry. However, Greenfield Village is HUGE… too huge to conquer before nap time even. And, unlike Henry Ford, the actual exhibits feature large glass walls, so tiny hands and bodies can’t get in. Simon enjoyed just running up to house after house in the Porches and Parlors section, and going inside to explore… and I felt safe letting him do it!

Also, the train rocks. I dreaded the idea of a 30 minute train ride without seat belts, but as soon as that train got moving, all I heard for half an hour was “WEEEE! WEEE!”. 

I hate to say it, but lower on my “sunny day fun” list was the Detroit Zoo. I think I need Tom involved to prop Simon up on his shoulders, and too take turns walking him around, because the view at stroller height is just not the best and all that time in the stroller with not enough action is not as toddler-friendly. Still, it was fun for mommy who got to have a playdate with her friend and co-worker, Erin… who’s little Tait was born less than 24 hours after Charlie.

Parting Words of Wisdom

• Always bring snacks!! Snacks keep a toddler not only happy, but occupied. An occupied toddler stays happy when strapped to a stroller for too long. And a hungry toddler also stays near the person who has the snacks, which is essential while breastfeeding an infant.
• Love that double stroller. That double stroller works as a purse, as a diaper bag, as a snack and activity dispenser, a sun shield, and as a way to restrain and keep a toddler safe when necessary (which is often). By the end of the summer I felt like I could go anywhere as long as I had my double stroller with me.
• Invite friends. Whether your friends have kids or not, it’s an extra set of hands and eyes and some adult conversation. Plus older kids help keep younger ones in line and interested in safer activities.
• Better than books are real life things… Use your adventures to enhance your toddler’s growing vocabulary. Why just read about cars and trains or lions and bears, when you can go somewhere and actually see them in action!