Now Entering Parenthood...

And so the summer begins, two kids and tons of trouble…

Charlie @ Two Weeks: How Quickly We Forgot
Right now Charlie is a big ball of mystery. We aren’t sure who he looks like or who he will look like, seeing as though Simon didn’t look like “Simon” at two weeks old. We can’t even agree whether or not we have a red head or a blond, whether his eyes are blue or that weird newborn “shark eye” look.

The only thing that is certain is how easily you forget what taking care of a newborn is like. It’s easy and it’s tough all at the same time. They sleep, they eat, they cry. The problem is how frequently they cry, how long they cry, and how you somehow convince yourself that you have no idea why they are crying or that you know exactly why but then fail to end it. At first we thought Charlie was soooo different than Simon, but then I read back over my old blog posts and found some familiar words…

CRAZY EATING HABITS
“I’m declaring it a ‘growth spurt’, because he sure feels heavier and longer and I can’t think of any other reason why he would all the sudden need to eat nearly every hour.”

Charlie has been ‘cluster feeding’, meaning that he will go for hours eating, and then sleep for hours. I started thinking he might have silent reflux, but the past couple days he’s been getting more regular. So I guess an early growth spurt?

TROUBLE SOOTHING
“His needs are becoming more complex. It’s not always a wet diaper or hunger, now there is the desire to be swaddled, the desire to be unswaddled, craving the pacifier, the desire to be held or paid attention to, or sometimes too much stimulation and not enough rest. It’s hard to tell what calms him down.”

Charlie actually is pretty easy to soothe so long as you have boobs full of milk. But in the past couple days I’ve noticed other things soothe him as well. Actually, to the exact opposite of Simon, these don’t seem to be the pacifier or the swaddle, but he loves being put in a carrier on your chest and he loves being swung around.

In fact, the only thing that has proved to be incredibly different about Charlie has been his parents and their behavior. We are doing things differently. Within the first two weeks, we had only taken Simon outside the home once. Charlie has been out and about almost every day, which probably explains why we have had more issues soothing… we haven’t been as courteous about an early schedule, although we’ve been very willing to make feedings and soothing work “on the go”.

I also am becoming more of an attachment parent. Baby wearing, co-sleeping, loads of snuggling. Honestly it is more for convenience than any philosophical reason. Chasing after a toddler and doing housework is much easier wearing a baby. With his constant nursing needs, there is just no other way to do it besides co-sleeping, unless I wanted to be up all night in a chair.

It’s already going by so fast. While part of me wants to fast forward to the day where Charlie is a cute chubby baby who sits up and smiles and giggles. Or to the summer days where Simon is chasing him around the yard through sprinklers. But there is no rewind button on life, so I better appreciate my little tiny baby while I still have him. He’s already growing off the charts!!

Simon @ 18 Months: Laugh, Cry, Sing, Dance
My not so little man. I can’t look at him anymore without thinking about how HUGE he looks, especially his chunky thighs, which just look far to big to be protruding from diapers. He’s a little boy and he proves it more and more every day. He’s sweet, he’s smart, and he’s super duper stubborn when he wants.

Naptime has become a bit of a struggle. It doesn’t help that it is a moving target… as his 11:00 AM nap slips to a 12:30 or later afternoon nap. It’s hard to tell exactly when to put him down, and then he needs a good hour of supervision, getting put back in his bed over and over again until he falls asleep.

Yes, he has figured out that you can actually get OUT of the toddler bed. He has also figured out that he isn’t allowed to be out of his toddler bed. So instead of playing with his toys in the middle of his room, he will sneak out and bring toys and books (and book ends, blankets, whatever else is handy) into his bed with him. He’s a hoarder to the point where one night he put so much in his bed, there was no longer room for him to sleep.

He’s smart. Too smart sometimes. He has started figuring out how to “un-baby-proof” all our baby proofing in the house. He has learned where the keys to the moped are, and will point them going “brrrrrrr” in the hopes that someone will take him for a ride. He knows where the buttons are that turn on everything from the TV to the leaf blower to the stereo.

He also knows how to push MY buttons, especially when it comes to mealtime. It’s the time of day I feel the most frustration being a parent. He refuses food without tasting it, food I KNOW he would like. One day he likes something, the next day it might as well be liver. And there is also a good amount that ends up on the floor, despite all my attempts to train him to put it on a “discard” plate.

I am at a loss for how to discipline him consistently, effectively, and still manage to get good nutritious food in his belly. And for every 10 times that I am ready to scream, there is one time that goes so well that I feel like I’m making progress… where he gobbles up good healthy food, every bite, happy and sweetly.

That’s the thing. Simon is really sweet. He says “HI” to complete strangers, he gives me and the “baby” kisses just out of pure love. He recites a vocabulary list of family members to help him go to bed at night (“mama, dadda, baby, bapa” [grandpa]). And when he sat on my lap last weekend watching fireworks with wonder and awe… holding me close for safety and comfort… I couldn’t think of how I could love anyone more.

Big Bug, Little Bug
Simon has been doing really well with Charlie. He doesn’t try and hurt him, he just likes to pet his head. He likes to point at him and say “baby” all the time, and will often go looking for him in common spots (bassinet, bouncer, car seat). He likes to help me out by bringing me a pacifier or a blanket, and he doesn’t even flinch when Charlie is crying… it might as well be background noise.

Simon is dealing with the divided attention better than I am. Sometimes I feel on top of the world… SUPERMOM!! Ready to tackle anything my two boys throw at me. So confident at how good I am at entertaining and interacting with Simon even with Charlie nursing or sleeping on my chest. Other times I feel spread thin, like I’m not giving either proper attention, like I bit off more than I could handle. Why did I try and take them to the store by myself? Why did I think Charlie wouldn’t need to eat or Simon would stay entertained for more than 2 seconds?

But even on the hardest day, I’m finding more enjoyment at home in “mom” world than I think I did the last time around. So much so that I wouldn’t mind having at least one day a week like this for the long haul. But that is a little too much to think about right now. Just got to take it one hot, sunny, incredibly busy day at a time :)

In the wee hours of June 23rd, while Simon was sleeping, his little brother Charlie was prepping to be born. We left the house shortly after Simon woke up, only able to say hello in passing and Charlie was born at the hospital before Simon was even down for his morning nap. Over the course of breakfast, Simon went from only child to official “big brother”.

First Encounters
Luckily we were able to capture the moment on film, which took some coordinating with nap schedules and holding Simon’s attention upstairs while Mommy and Daddy snuck Charlie into the house.

I think that Simon was kinda spooked by the fact that his parents just showed up out of nowhere, and put all the attention on him. I don’t know that he knew just what was different, but I have to imagine after having us gone for 24 hours unexpectedly and then return… Mommy this time without a big huge belly, he was a little unsettled.

Beyond first time jitters, Simon has had the same level of emotion and enthusiasm around Charlie so far. It’s fascination and interest with the “beebee”, who he loves to point to and talk about. Sometimes it is hard to keep him away, as he wants to touch Charlie’s hair, try and give him a pacifier, and press his chest to see if he makes noises like his baby doll.

Other times it is complete lack of interest, just like any toy in the toy box he has seen enough of and is ready for something far more interesting… like an electric drill. Now that is more fun than a silly “beebee”.

Simon, Who Is This Little Boy?
One thing I was surprised by is how instantly I felt slightly disconnected or changed in my feelings towards Simon. I left the house head over heals in love with him, with him being my sole focus for nurturing and consideration.

I came back to the house feeling a little changed. Simon seemed bigger, less familiar, and as Tom had warned, more capable than we should be giving him credit for. After all he is still a technically a “baby”, he is still MY BABY. But I’m already feeling that nagging divide of attention.

But after a first moment of strangeness, like seeing a loved one after a while away, it faded. I’ve been trying to spend one-on-one time with Simon. At breakfast the next day I am reminded of all the little things I love so much about him. He tries to feed me, tries to make me laugh… he is a neat nick, he is stubborn, he is insanely affectionate, he loves being the clown, he is curious and kind. But, if there is one thing he isn’t any more… it’s my only responsibility.

Charlie, My New Peanut (aka Parasite)
Wow, I forgot what this newborn thing was like, and I guess Charlie may or may not be different than Simon in some ways. I don’t remember constantly nursing Simon, and yet here Charlie is basically wanting to hop from one breast to the other, back and forth, until he passes out for a few hours. It’s not even worth timing or keeping track of. It’s on demand, it’s all the time.

I also forgot just how insanely delicate and tiny newborns are. Wrapped up in blankets, Charlie is just this little lump of soft squirmy flesh. Glassy eyes that open up in wonder and amazement at the world. He seems so lost and innocent, you can’t help but want to protect and take care of him. It’s almost painful to look into the eyes of something so helpless… it’s also hard to believe in a few short months, he will be a moving babbling baby just like his brother was.

And that’s the other thing. Now I look at Simon, and there is this sense of pride and appreciation. Simon represents a year and a half (plus some) of hard parenting work. He is an end product and a work in progress. Charlie is a blank slate, which is exciting and terrifying. Who is he going to be? What’s he going to look like? But in the meantime, how can I find enough time to snuggle this must-be-snuggled creature while chasing down a toddler?

A Glimpse Into The Future
“Where’s Simon?” After 2 minutes of taking pictures of my mom and Charlie, we became intensely aware of the silence in the house. Look into the hallway, front door wide open and Tom runs outside to find Simon in the garage on his moped “Bbrrrrrrrr”. This is the future. Split attention and mini disasters averted.

Luckily Charlie doesn’t move, but he cries. In my attempt to get a bath during one of his sleeps, he woke up and cried which ruined Simon’s nap. While Charlie was sleeping and I was watching Simon… I tried to go to the bathroom for a minute and a shrieking playful Simon decided to wake Charlie up.

So, at this point my summer looks like this… nobody gets sleep and Mommy doesn’t really get to do normal functions (eat, bathe, poop) until Daddy gets home. Well, until I become a pro at this. Here’s hoping!!

He’s here!! Weighing in at a whopping 8 lbs 9 oz, Charles Martin Strickland arrived to the outside world on Thursday, June 23rd at 9:42 AM.

For those not interested in birth stories, skip this post and read the next one… it’s cuter, has pictures, and does not contain the word “vagina”.

The Birth Story of Baby Charlie
I don’t get to begin this story “on a dark and snowy night”… Charlie was born in the exact opposite season from Simon. In fact, on Wednesday afternoon I had taken a chance against the impending rain and took Simon to his first waterpark. It was a great way to spend my very last day as the mother of only one baby.

I kinda knew that night was going to be the night, but I have been trying REALLY hard not to get excited when my “intuition” speaks for fear of disappointment. The night before I had been kept awake by 3 hours of pains that I kept anticipating would turn into contractions, and I wasn’t too keen on having another restless night unless it was the real deal. And just like many women say over and over again, when it is the “real deal” you know it… or so you hope.

Why Do Contractions Always Start In The Middle of the Night?
At 2:30 AM early Thursday morning, I started feeling contractions. After reading up on false vs real labor previously, I was fairly certain these were real contractions. They weren’t in my belly, they were “down there” low and echoed into my back and outer thighs. They would last a good solid minute, and after some experimenting I figured out that they weren’t going away when I moved into different positions.

What’s weird about the whole “experiment” is that I wanted so badly for them to be real that I was actually afraid to make the disappear. I spent the first hours of my labor not “dealing” with contractions but challenging them and willing them to return. It wasn’t until about 4:30 AM that I decided these were real and I should have a good long soak in the tub to relax myself. At that point, they were still only coming every 7-8 minutes apart and the pain was very manageable.

The “life” of a contraction… from the minute they started until the minute they ended I was shocked at how consistent my contractions were in duration and “style”, varying only in interval and intensity. They always lasted 60-90 seconds. Like a wave, the pain would build up and peak at 30 seconds, very intense ache in my vagina. Then the pain would dissipate into my lower back and outer thighs. If it was a “bad” contraction, the pain in my thighs could last a long time and be pretty miserable. Like punishment from having done a million squats a previous day.

At 5:00 AM it was time to convince Tom to wake the hell up… he was not really so convinced but mostly grunting in his sleep. I was impatient and told him that I would time the next couple contractions on my phone to show him this was no false labor. The next few contractions came even further apart but were so intense that I was starting to have to do breathing and humming to get through them.

This Ain’t No False Labor, Baby
Enough was enough, it was hospital time, and I knew that meant calling my mom and waiting another hour for her arrival. While Tom was on the phone with my mom, my contractions started picking up and coming 4-6 minutes apart. After he got off the phone and said something to the effect of… “I told her we’d give her a confirmation call on her way to be sure these don’t go away”. I showed him my phone marking contractions 4 minutes apart. “Oh shit!!” he says… “Umm, yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, these aren’t going away, so you can officially wake up now”

I make fun of him, because after that point Tom was nothing but helpful and supportive. Turns out I had freaked him out about false labor almost as much as I had done for myself, so lesson learned ladies.

In what seemed like it took forever of waiting in our bed upstairs watching a horrible episode of some home design show, my mom finally arrived at 7:00 AM. I was feeling very anxious to get to the hospital. Contractions were making me very restless and I decided to walk around during the last few… which is when stuff started going at lightning speeds. Within two minutes of my mom’s arrival, I lost my mucus plug (for real this time), was fairly certain my water was about to break, told Tom we needed to go NOW, and was on the road to the hospital.

7:30 AM… arrive at hospital. Contractions seem to be more bearable en route and waiting at check in desk, although I was kind of pissed they let the induction patient register before me. So I made sure not to hide it when I did have a contraction while waiting to get into triage.

7:45 AM… triage, we are hoping for “big numbers” here. The nurse is quick to do all the necessary checks (ultrasound, vitals) before the big one (cervix). I am quick to tell her I want an epidural this time, and I don’t want to miss my window. She checks my cervix, I am at 7 cms, completely effaced and a “bulging bag of waters”. Lightning speeds just escalated to light speeds and I can feel that epidural window start to close.

No Pain, No Gain? Or… How I Missed My Epidural Again!!
Things begin to get a bit blurry. I don’t remember my contractions really from the minute we left home up until the whirlwind of nurses and papers and questions slowed down. At that point things were getting really intense, although I still had time to rest and sign paperwork in between. What I do remember is insane pain in my legs and waiting forever for the results of my platelet count to come back in order to get the damn epidural.

At what must have been already after 9:00 AM… one of the nurses began acting as a birthing coach with Tom and I. She moved me onto my side to help relieve the pain in my legs. She was giving me leg and back rubs. And, lord help her, she began to convince me that getting an epidural was not really in the cards.

I will not lie. I was devastated. I was terrified. I knew I was on brink of pushing, and the idea of doing it again without any sort of pain relief scared the crap out of me. I just literally did not think I could do it, and then… just like last time… my water broke and I knew I had no choice. I was on a speeding train and it had already left the station.

Right before my water broke and for the time after, every contraction would now come with a period of time where I was involuntarily forced to “bear down”. Like vomiting or orgasming, I don’t know how anyone in the world could actually fight this urge. I just simply had to do it. My body wanted the baby out and the sooner the better.

This time, the doctors gave me a lot more instruction, for better or for worse, during the pushing phase. Some of it was too much for me to take in the moment, like having to pull my own legs up to my chest and put my chin down. Some of it was really helpful. Every time I felt the “fire”, which I can only assume was my skin pulling or tearing a bit too much, they told me to SLOW DOWN and do little pushes. As a result, I walked away with barely a tear, only a few stitches, and no episiotomy.

And Out Pops Charlie…
The doctor made me feel Charlie’s head with each push. I wasn’t really all about that, until I felt it the second time and realize how far he had made it with one push, from about 3 inches in to right there at the exit. I only had to give about 4-5 good pushes during the whole “push” phase to get him out!! And like that, he was here in the world.

Now, when they lay your new slimy child on your chest, maybe for some mothers an insane pride and instinct takes over. Although, from the TV shows I’ve seen, most moms look and feel just about like I did. You are overwhelmed, and you just aren’t exactly ready to handle the new life that is currently laying on your belly… and really you are just ready for the team of people to back away from your vagina and leave you alone to recover from what just happened.

Slowly but surely that happens, and with every passing hour, the pain and intensity of what you just endured fades… Natures wonderful way of making sure that we continue to procreate even after going through something so painful.

Rating the Pain… Induction Vs. Natural Birth
I am mostly writing this post for the women I know who have yet to go through a birth experience. Every birth story is unique, but I found reading in detail about other people’s experiences helpful for me to understand what is profoundly scary and hard to anticipate. Even though I had gone through it once before, I was fairly scared this time around, since I had never been through a “natural” birth and was hoping I got to experience it.

So… what was different? What was the same? Well, pushing without an epidural was exactly the same, equally as nerve-wracking. I wouldn’t recommend it unless you are facing down the situations I was. I am glad I did not get an epidural both times, because frankly it wouldn’t have done a damn thing and I would have been stuck with numb legs for hours afterwards. Plus, this time around having a doctor that actually stopped me from tearing myself up, I actually appreciated feeling where my limits were when it came to pushing. Apparently I’m not supposed to push until I tear myself up. Thanks Dr. Davidson!!

What else was the same? The escalation at the very end. Feeling the intense urge to push, popping my own bag of waters by bearing down and feeling relief that I was actually able to do SOMETHING (anything) during contractions besides just distract myself with breathing and humming.

What was different? EVERYTHING ELSE!! My induced contractions came one after the other after the other. They were like waves crashing on shore during a big storm. There was no break, there was no time to breath or recover (let alone answer questions and sign paperwork). And as a result, I was exhausted, insane, not dilating, and had to take a narcotic to relax enough to let nature take its course.

My non-induced contractions never came closer than 3 minutes apart. Some were pretty intense, but some were downright tolerable. At their height I was still able to breath and try and distract myself without hyperventilating or going into an emotional break down. The “height” was probably a twenty minute period right before my water broke versus a 2 hour period that still seems like the longest worst slowest time in my life.

So… my message after going through both is exactly as I had thought and hoped it would be. Try try try with all your might to not go through induction if you don’t have to, and if you do have to, don’t beat yourself up for taking some drugs or doing whatever you need to make it work for you.

Baby Charlie Meets His Brother Simon…
Since our 24 hours in the hospital was pretty second nature and boring, I’ll skip right to the good stuff. I’m breaking it into another post, so people not interested in reading birth stories don’t ever have to skip through the insane journal entry I just posted above :)

It’s hard being the parent of a toddler AND being this pregnant. I’m just going to come right out and say it. But, it certainly is going to be infinitely harder to be the parent of a toddler and the parent of a newborn, so I try and appreciate my situation… try and not be annoyed that Simon is getting faster and livelier as I am getting slower and sluggish.

This logic is exactly why, despite as crazy as it sounds, we packed up our entire house and moved into a new one in the past month. (And still had time for a Memorial Day getaway) Because it is as simple as this… as crazy as things are, they can only get crazier, so you might as well go for it…

Simon the Blabbermouth
Never before has Simon been so talkative as he is right now, and it is a delight (well, mostly a delight).

Less a delight when he shrieks at the top of his lungs out of frustration that he…
A. Took his shoe off and can’t get it back on
B. Unbuckled his car seat chest strap (great!) and can’t put it back
C. Got a doorway blocked or a dangerous “toy” taken away
D. Decided the restaurant would be a good place to test his lungs
E. Tries to do something well beyond his capacity and fails

More a delight when he continues to surprise us with the words he knows and the context he knows how to use them in. For example, “ALL DONE” was an early phrase he learned for the end of meals, but he will now use to signify anything he has finished with. It’s “ALL DONE” when a cup goes empty. It’s “ALL DONE” when he’s ready to get out of the bathtub. It’s also “ALL DONE” when he doesn’t want to be in the car seat any more or has decided he’s ready for you to open the baby gate and let him downstairs. That’s when it is harder to explain that he may want to be “ALL DONE” but that doesn’t mean he gets to be.

Other words… “COOKA” is a big one, which means cookie, which really means animal crackers. He even knows where they are stored in our house and at daycare, and will stand outside the pantry and point while telling me “COOKA”. “DER YA GO” or “HERE” are phrases that denote he is done with what is in his hands and wants you to take it. He also will say “HI” and wave “BYE BYE”… but the most hilarious one so far has been his new obsession with “PEEPEE”, which has to be said with a big grin and a whisper. He means of course… his penis. Which he will happily grab during diaper changes, and wave “BYE BYE” to as we put it away. He is so delighted by his “PEEPEE” that we have used it in place of “CHEESE” during photos to get him to smile.

I’m Just Like You But Smaller!!
I’m continually shocked at how interested a little toddler is at being just like mom and dad, but I’m even more shocked at how quickly he picks things up and tries to imitate us… shocked and a little more worried about what behaviors or words I might be doing in front of my kid. We have reached the “sponge” age where he absorbs anything even after one viewing.

Examples… After one ride on the moped with Tom (very safely at low speeds in our driveway), it had to be perhaps even a month later, but when he saw the moped in the garage, he got up on it, touched the handles, and made the noise “BRRRRRRRRR”. He also has picked up my curling iron (not plugged in) and tried to curl his hair. He’s attempted to use my make-up brush, hair brush, and even Tom’s nasal spray. He’s very happy to try and “brush his teeth” even running the toothbrush under water and putting on toothpaste. Of course, he always wants us to sing the toothbrush song as he does it.

Songs are another thing he tries to imitate. He tries singing, but only manages to get out a few notes… like “EIEIO” (well not really even the “O”) or imitate his laughing turtle stuffed animal going “HAHAHA”. But it’s very brief… cuz the poor little guy just can’t remember more than a few notes at a time.

It’s not just imitating us that he finds amazing. When we make his stuffed animals imitate people, we just as well may have told him the funniest joke in the entire world. We are AMAZING comedians in the eyes of our toddler. If we pretend to feed a stuffed animal or if a stuffed animal gives us a kiss, it is pure comic genius. Simon also gets very interested in feeding his own stuffed animals, which gets very messy, because it isn’t always pretend food.

Finally, there is the general understanding of our actions and directions as adults that amazes me. I can tell him to “COME HERE” or “GIVE THAT TO MOMMY” or “GO FIND DADDY” and he knows exactly what I’m talking about. But the biggest surprise was when my husband actually embarrassed Simon… “MUH MUH MUH” while pointing has become Simon’s way of indicating he wants an object, usually a food while eating. One night while eating out, Tom pointed to Simon and did it right back to him… and the kid stopped, looked down with a big grin and turned BRIGHT RED. HE WAS BLUSHING!!! He knew that Daddy was making fun of him and he was embarrassed!!

The Not So Sweet Life
It isn’t, of course, all fun and games. Some things about having a toddler are a nightmare and a constant drain on your patience, energy, sanity, and confidence.

Feeding time!! This is a particular nightmare. If we are going out to eat, even more so. We have to order his food as quickly as possible and keep him occupied through multiple methods. Even then, he will reach his limit and we will usually end up downing our meals and rushing out the door.

Meals at home are a mixture of really good days and bad days. Sometimes he is a non-stop vacuum and surprises us with his grown up palate… eating olives, hummus, green beans by the handful, fresh asparagus. Sometimes even the no-brainer foods end up getting spit out and eventually on the floor. Worst is when he refuses to even try a food, especially one that you know he’d like. And the “on the floor” thing is the pits.

The worst part… doubting yourself. How do I teach him not to put stuff on the floor? Do I end mealtime? But that is also what he wants, and I want him to eat. Should I let him scream in the restaurant and learn to be patient? Or should I shove entertaining objects in his face in an attempt to buy Mommy and Daddy a few more minutes to enjoy their evening out?

The not-so-fun stuff is also our little monster’s persistence to get into everything, try everything, taste everything, and his absolute intolerance for being told “NO”. Sometimes it is flat out dangerous… like trying to unplug and replug in electrical cords, or turn the oven knobs, or lift something way too heavy for him, or climb on top of an unstable chair, or run right out into traffic. The kid seriously wants to kill himself at all times and would.

Sometimes you find yourself compromising. That thing isn’t really THAT dirty, he can put that in his mouth. If he gets hurt doing THAT then at least he will learn a valuable lesson. If the hurt wouldn’t be scarring or the fact that he broke it wouldn’t be that bad, then you just gotta let it slide… or else you are running around saying “NO” to everything, which would make our scientist very upset. And so we compromise… you can touch this but not that, you can do this but not that. I guess that would make a suitable toy??

I don’t know if it is right, but it is how I stay sane. That and taking him to as many places I can where he can roam free, touch stuff, and not kill himself… thank you playgrounds, mall playscapes, childrens museums, wide open parks and babyproofed houses. There is nothing worse than going over to a house that is insanely un-babyproof and chasing your kid around for a few hours.

And Then There Was Four…
So yeah. That’s crazy, and like I said, as exhausting and crazy and fascinating as it all is, I have to keep telling myself that it is only going to get crazier, because Charlie is due any minute. Like ANY minute.

Simon doesn’t know what he is in for. I don’t know how to tell him. But I have finally reached that stage of pregnancy where I am no longer in fear of giving birth, of painful labor, of exhausting nights ahead… because it is all better than being 9 months pregnant. It is better than the aches, the swollen feet, the tiredness, getting kicked HARD in my sides or head butted in my cervix.

It is a new adventure ahead for the entire family, and for better or worse, it is an adventure I am ready to take. So bring it!

It’s been a couple months since I posted last. Running around chasing after a busy busy toddler can be pretty exhausting!! Simon is certainly not the baby that he was half a year ago. He is a definitely little boy.

Figuring Out How To Communicate

Simon seems to be adding new words to his vocabulary on a weekly basis. It’s still very basic at best, but in the past couple weeks he has become very attached to the word “Uh-Oh”. He will say it whenever he drops something, whenever someone else drops something, and sometimes when he just feels like it. Other popular words are “Hi!” which is usually accompanied by a hand wave, and sometimes if he is feeling willing enough he will say “Hi Daddy!”

It’s pretty amazing to witness. Sometimes he tricks me and says something I swear was clear as day a word or phrase… like “Thank You” or “Kitty” and then it will be weeks without hearing anything like it again. So I’m not sure how large his vocabulary is at this point, only that it is growing.

Also, he seems to be really into vocal imitation. Whether it is clicking or tongue out or trying to sing a song with you or laughing because you are laughing. I guess now would be a good time to consider stopping saying phrases we don’t exactly want imitated back to us :)

Playing Games and Figuring The World Out

Every day I am shocked at the stuff that this kid is figuring out. I’m not going to claim that he’s going through anything exceptional, only that I’m astounded at how quickly the little human brain can start to grasp concepts… whether they be social or physical.

Physical play… Simon can how put together lego blocks, stack objects on top of objects, try and put puzzle pieces in a board. He is very obsessed with putting “things” inside of “things”, whether it be tupperware inside other tupperware or taking something from one cabinet and placing it in another (fun!). It’s even evolved into some more mature needs during food time, such as the desire to put “finished” food onto a different plate and to use utensils.

Social play… Simon has strongly embraced the concept of hide and seek. He doesn’t quite hide very well, but he gets so excited to be found. You can usually watch him fidget in anticipation as we pretend to not see him. Hiding also comes in handy with his new shy “phase”, where he likes to hide behind my or Tom’s legs whenever anyone new (or not so new - like grandparents) come into contact with him.

He also has begun dancing to music that especially interests him. And has learned the ins and outs of certain routines (I go upstairs, start my CD player, drink my milk and read a book before bed)… and will sometimes help to complete these steps knowing what order they come in.

With New Development, Comes New Defiance

In the same way that Simon is trying to test the physical boundaries around him… does this fit into that? Should that go there? He is also trying to test his boundaries with us. And quickly we are entering into the fun stage of toddler-dom… Discipline.

Although he is too young to grasp the ideas of why it might be okay to touch one thing and not another, why this goes in my mouth and this doesn’t. He does seem to understand that there are some things mommy and daddy don’t want him to do, and he will try to do them any way… he’s seeing what happens, he’s seeing if we respond every time or just sometimes.

He’s a behavioral scientist, he’s a little alien in a foreign world trying to figure out the cultural norms. And he isn’t afraid to voice his opinion if he is frustrated with the results of his experiments. I’m trying to stay smart, consistent, kind but firm… using age appropriate language such as “no touch” and “yes touch”, but it is hard and continually proves to me how exhausting setting limits is and why there are lots of parents who don’t.

What Lies Ahead…

So I am sure parents of older toddlers are even laughing at the idea of disciplining at 14 month old as being tiresome. Indeed the road that lies ahead is only bumpier. But I can’t help but be excited at the thought of Simon continuing to grow and of the addition of a new family member, little brother Charlie.

Just as we were getting used to the unit as it is, the whole thing is going to shake up. Stay tuned… for the next time I post it might be introducing the Strickland family member #4 :)

On January 8th, 2010… our lives changed forever, for the better, and a new part of our family entered this world. This post is not meant to be a mushy parent lovefest, but just a simple look back on what we’ve learned along the way and the little man that helped us learn how to be parents. But first…

SNAPSHOT OF A 1 YEAR OLD

JAN 8, 2010: 7 lbs 8 ounces, 20 inches, 0 teeth
JAN 8, 2011: 21 lbs 10 ounces, 30 inches, 8 teeth

NICKNAMES: Bug, Buggers (Mcgoo), Stinkman, Mr. Man, Little Man

MOST ADORABLE HABIT
Running up and laying his head in your lap, or “head hugs” as we call it, just to let you know he’s thinking about you, before returning to play.

MOST ANNOYING HABIT - TIE
Tom and I couldn’t decide between Simon’s obsession with insistently throwing his sippy cup on the floor during meals or turning the TV on and off (mostly off) while we are in the middle of something (TV is also a computer).

A BUDDING PERSONALITY
He smiles at strangers and shrieks at cats, in fact pictures of cats sends him into giggle fits. He loves being chased and giving hugs to everyone (including animals). He likes entertaining and being entertained, which sometimes means he doesn’t like being left alone… just having you there to watch him play is comforting. He is determined to figure it out, he’s not easily tricked. A determined happy little guy.

A GROWING VOCABULARY
Official Entries: mama, dada or daddy, all done
Questionable: nah or no, hi, hello, duck, kitty, soft

“ON THE VERGE” - CAN’T QUITE YET…
Color with a crayon, put a fork in food, put the right shaped blocks in the right shaped holes (oh so close), clap, run, walk while holding hands, or sing along.

PLACES TRAVELED
As far away as Boston. As nearby as Indiana, Ohio, and western Michigan. He’s been to the zoo, the library, outdoor festivals, malls, museums, and the beach. He’s played in the snow and in the water, with dogs and with cats. On planes, trains, and cars… and we hope to do much more in 2011.

LEARNING EXPERIENCES AND MISGUIDED NOTIONS
You walk into parenting thinking you know a lot or fearful of how much you have to learn. The truth is somewhere in the middle… a lot of common sense, and a lot of willingness to learn along the way.

SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT
Time We Were Told To Sleep Through The Night: 3-4 weeks
Time We Estimated It Would Take: 3-4 months
Time It Actually Took Him To Do It: 9 months

PARENTING DEVICES
Devices We Couldn’t Live Without: Catcher bibs, baby bjorn
Device We Wish He Could Live Without: Cell phones and remote controls
Device So Important, Now Forgotten: Pacifier, boppy, bottle warmer
Device Never Quite Used: Baby swing

BIGGEST LEARNING EXPERIENCE
Marta: Being on maternity leave at around 6-7 weeks old, my child turned into a cranky, inconsolable little stinker. Then I learned about how a baby needs to sleep during the day, which is often and a lot. The next day, I had a new kid.
Tom: Never realized how important it was to put a kid on a schedule and stick to it as much as you can, and how much he actually needs it.

ONE KID DOWN, ONE TO GO
This June, we will have a new (and final?) member of our growing family. It’s an exciting time, especially since we know a bit more what we are in for…

MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO
Marta: Snuggling a small little guy, naps together, a summer off
Tom: Holding that new little life, swaddling

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO
Marta: The “lump” stage, no smiles, crying with no real reason
Tom: Waking up in the middle of the night, exhaustion

MOST CURIOUS ABOUT
Marta: Simon’s reaction, keeping attention balanced
Tom: New family dynamics, creating new family memories

WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY
Marta: Pay more attention to sleepiness, end nighttime feeding earlier
Tom: Don’t overfeed during the middle of the night!!

WOULD DO THE SAME
Marta: Make baby food, breastfeed, be relaxed, make time for us
Tom: Most things!! Be laid back but also mind the schedule

COUNTING OUR BLESSINGS
We’ve been lucky with Simon in many ways and hope the new baby also has… no colic, no stranger anxiety, no ear infections. Is a good teether, a good eater, with a generally happy disposition.

CROSSING OUR FINGERS
But if we could modify a few things (which we can’t), we are kinda hoping for some earlier sleeping through the night and maybe this time… some more hair!! Of course, a little girl would also mix things up (stay tuned!).

WRAP UP - OUR FAVORITES FROM YEAR ONE

FAVORITE MEMORY
Tom: Simon’s first smile… we were getting ready for a trip to the park and he was in his car seat. After that he was a lot of fun, I remember taking him to Saugatuck and holding him at the top of a giant windmill.

Marta: Seeing his reaction when he first got back from a weekend away from home. He giggled and crawled around, hugged the cats. Also seeing his sweet face when Abbi gave him a hug, so appreciative and unexpected.

FAVORITE AGE
Tom: Right now!! He’s playful and happy and how cute is it to see someone so little walking around? Answer… really cute.

Marta: Right now is pretty awesome, but let’s not forget how great it was when Simon could sit but not yet crawl (6 months). Lots of smiles, less bumps and bruises.

At 11 months old, Simon has become quite a lot of fun for Marta and I. While he’s always been a pretty happy baby, he’s finally begun to actually “play games” with us. Silly, pointless games of course, but that’s what it’s all about when you are a baby. Marta discovered that Simon loves getting lightly bopped on the head by various objects. This activity can go on for 15 minutes straight with Simon laughing hysterically the entire time. If there’s one thing we can’t get enough of, it’s those hysterical baby laughs. He also loves being chased, tossed up in the air, and being tickled.

For Thanksgiving, we all drove down to Indiana to spend the holiday with my Dad’s family. The car ride was over 5 hours long, but Simon handled it perfectly, both on the way there AND on the way home. During the trip, Simon got to meet his second cousin Abigail, who is two years old. Watching the two of them interact was incredibly entertaining, and we managed to get some pretty cute photos. 

Simon has also become more affectionate and cuddly lately, something that all new parents look forward to. When he wakes up in the morning (after a wonderfully long and uninterrupted 12 hours of sleep), he wants to be picked up and held while he wraps his arms around and rests his head on mom or dad’s shoulder. The ladies at his daycare have reported that he has been going around giving hugs to the other children, and if he notices a hug taking place, he quickly makes his way over to get in on it.

While he still hasn’t quite begun to speak complete words, he has started doing what appears to be another bit of sign language. When we sit him down in his high chair, he frantically brings his hand to his mouth in a back and forth motion as if to say “I’m hungry, where’s the food!?”. We have started giving him whole milk during meals, which he really loves, among many other new foods. Simon is an exceptional eater for a baby his age, and we are grateful for that. Sometimes it’s a complete mystery how he’s able to eat so much food…where does it all go?

Finally, this month marks one of Simon’s biggest achievements yet…walking! While he’s nowhere near perfecting it, he has taken as many as 13 steps without tumbling over, and he continues to practice every day. Marta and I spend a lot of time playing with him and having him walk back and forth between us, using some mundane object to coax him into it. Mundane to us, but fascinating to him. Remote controls, a camera lens cap, and bubbles seem to work really well to get him up and moving. At the rate he’s improving, I think it’s only a matter of weeks until he will have mastered the ability altogether, and thus we will begin a whole new chapter of keeping an eye on our little troublemaker.

It feels like the months are going by faster, and we are quickly on our way to one year old. Simon grows more fun everyday. He has favorite games, like chasing mom and dad around the table while knocking down blocks. He is extremely giggly, and is becoming more and more strong willed and curious about the world around him.

On The Verge… Watch Out!!
I really tried to capture it, but the moments are so fleeting, it’s almost impossible to get them. But here it is… Simon is perhaps days away from walking. One month ago, he stood for the first time, got freaked out and then didn’t really do it again for a while. But slowly over the past week, Simon has been taking risks on his own. And it’s not just standing, it’s been attempts to walk.

As of right now, he can take a step or two as long as it is part of a forward momentum fall into something like the couch or mommy’s arms. And he can also stand for about 5 seconds or so. But 99% of the time it ends quickly with him plopping down on his sweet little tush. But everyday he is getting a little more stable and a lot more daring.

What Did You Just Say?
While Simon has still remained pretty quiet compared to many a babbling and actually talking babies his age, we were super excited to discover that Simon had learned a very important phrase… ‘all done’!! Although I also wasn’t able to get this magic act on video really well :(

What makes it important is, for one, it is not just a word but baby sign language. So Simon will babble ‘alda’ with his hands held high above his head. It’s also a very versatile phrase. And even though we’ve only done it with him at the high chair after eating… He has done it when he’s done taking a bottle before bed and when he is just really pissed off that you are trying to clean his face. ‘ALL DONE’ he insists.

Big News Will Bring Big Changes
So what else big has changed in the past month? Well, on Oct 10th, I found out that much to my surprise, I was pregnant with our second child. And come fathers day 2011 (June 19th), Simon will have a little baby brother or sister.

It’s early, but the news has already started us thinking about what next summer will be like. Will Simon be ready for a big boy bed? Will he be jealous of the new baby, indifferent, interested? And so we are just focusing our attention on our small family before it becomes bigger… On being parents to our baby, before he isn’t the ‘baby’ any longer. I guess that just might be sooner than we thought.

Everyday we are closer to one year old, and everyday I am losing my little baby to the independent toddler who roams my house looking for cabinets to open and things to climb. Only cuddly when he wants to be, Simon has become a little man with a mission to find new and yet undiscovered things to slobber on or to hurt himself with.

At potentially the most squirmy and restless point in Simon’s existence so far, we decided it was time to up the ante, test our patience and take him on some new adventures…

Little Man, Big Adventures
First stop, Boston!! I was traveling to Boston for a conference and decided it was a good time to bring Simon out to Massachusetts to meet his Great Grandma Giles and the Monkley family. It was also a perfect time to catch my friend Alyssa before she moves out to Spain to continue her fairytale romance and marry the man she met on our trip to Portugal together.

Tom did the first flight alone with Simon, who was giggling at strangers up until the descent. The pressure got to him and he had a little meltdown. He arrived to Boston passed out on Tom’s chest.

After a few days of trying to do a more adult vacation (nice restaurant, sight seeing), we took Simon to a children’s museum where he could crawl and chew on everything. He was as happy as could be. And I have decided that I need to open a business that combines the drink menu and food selection of a fancy wine bar with the full wall to wall padding of the crawler room at Boston Children Museum. Pop your kid in the water bed pit and get served a nice Malbec with prosciutto pizza.

Lessons learned… Avoid restaurants that might mind their floors covered in half eaten finger foods. Obey at least one nap a day and you will be better off for it!!! And after toting around a toddler in the city, mom and dad will need one anyway.

Next was a train to Southwick, where Tom figured out how well the baby bjorn fits over the back of a seat, and does an amazing job keeping a baby happy and out of trouble. All in all, Simon did pretty great traveling. It’s hard to keep him entertained and still, but at least he was happy and smiled at any stranger that would smile back.

Scared to Stand?
Our second big trip this month was to Amy’s parents cottage in Ohio, right outside of Sandusky. More laid back than busy Boston, we got to just enjoy the company of friends in a cozy cottage by the fireplace.

What was extra exciting about the trip was that Simon decided to stand (with no support!!) for the first time in front of the room full of people. Once people cheered, he got a little freaked out and promptly sat back down. To be honest, I think Simon is afraid to stand and definitely afraid to walk. He is strong enough, but the minute you try and help him stand his body goes limp and he sits down. But I guess I should be thankful for that :)

I can’t believe how fast this is all going. That I am now the mom with the BIG baby in the room, rather than the small petite newborn. And when are you actually ready to do it all over again? Only time will tell!!!