Now Entering Parenthood...

I’m in love… I’m just smitten with a handsome little man named “Charlie”. I don’t even know how to describe it, other than it feeling like complete infatuation.

I’m trying not to feel guilty over the other “loves” in my life. Maybe it is because I returned to work this week and maybe it is because Simon has been a complete wreck (exhausted, cranky, tired, sick… poor baby). But, I find myself daydreaming about pulling Charlie tight into my chest and kissing his squishy soft neck more than ever before. I also find this unbearable guilt that I am missing out daily on his sweet smiles and coos.

I don’t remember feeling quite this strong of separation anxiety with Simon. Maybe it’s because I know this will be my last baby, and maybe it’s because I know what I’m going to miss when this phase is over. Or perhaps just I’m a little more relaxed about exactly what to do with a 3 month old, since I’ve had one before… and I am able to better appreciate all the snuggly sweetness that Charlie brings to the table.

Sigh… either way, it’s hard not to remember back to the days of summer. My “Simon + Charlie” days were always action packed. We went to as many places as our energy and time would allow. We would go to parks, run around, draw with chalk, finger paint, build blanket forts, sing songs. But my “Charlie” days were just amazingly chill… sometimes I would just snuggle with him in the bed or out on our deck for hours while reading. Sometimes I would take him shopping and enjoy the smiles he cast my way while we wandered around the store.

Oh Charlie!! The idea that someone else is receiving those smiles from you all day long is killing me right now. You are my carrot during a hard days work… the idea that I get to come home and pinch your little chin keeps me going all day long.