Now Entering Parenthood...

Seven to Eight Hours… The Impossible Dream
Sleeping through the night must be a myth right? A myth invented by people who have long been part of the parenthood club to taunt those who are newly joined. Why else would it be the first question everyone asks new parents? “So… how is he sleeping? Has he slept through the night yet?”

When you mention that your child is not part of the blessed “sleeping through the night” breed, you get sympathy and reassurance. Oh, it will happen eventually. You might also hear tales from other parents about how their babies slept through the night right away, as if that is supposed to make you feel better.

Well, whether people are telling the truth, or just choosing to forget those painful first weeks (months) of newborn life… It doesn’t make a difference to me. Simon is not going to sleep through the night any time soon, so stop asking please. My little alarm clock child is a hungry guy who needs to eat every two hours, and he will let you know about it. There is no sleeping through that.

So I measure success a bit differently… success for right now is Simon having solid 2 hour sleeps (maybe even 2.5 or 3 if I’m lucky), waking up, feeding, and immediately going back down for another 2 hour sleep until morning comes. No fussing, no waking up and needing to be held or entertained. We’ve had two nights like that this week, and right now I am counting myself lucky.

Besides… it’s amazing how quickly your body becomes trained for intermittent sleep. Tom slept in the basement earlier this week, before his first day back at work, and he admitted to waking up 3 times… hearing a baby crying when there was none. I also find myself waking up before Simon in anticipation of his next feeding. So I think the more important question is… when will I have my first sleep through the night?

What To Do With My Time, With Our Time
Now that I am home alone with Simon all day, I’m the sole decider on what we do together and what we do apart. It’s somewhat easy when he is asleep… I get time to pick-up, start dinner, blog, or maybe even take a nap if I also feel tired. Perhaps I should be napping more, but then I am giving up my only awake time by myself. And in a sense, at that point… I disappear completely from my own life.

When Simon is awake and crying, the decision is also somewhat easy. I do what needs to be done to take care of my child. Of course, how long do you let him cry? Do you put down everything you are doing the minute he starts? Or do you put up those last few dishes or type those last few words… especially when you know that solving his cries is going to mean a half hour breast feeding session and a diaper change.

Then when Simon is awake and not fussing, the decisions become even harder for me. What do I do? Normal household stuff, take it easy and watch movies, exercise… and how do I include him in the activity? Is just talking to him enough? Does he need to be held or touched all the time? Should I keep music on during the day to keep him stimulated?

Any time he sits there in his bouncer, bright-eyed and analyzing the world… do I stimulate him or let him be stimulated by himself? My mother defined this as the ultimate maternal question that will never ever go away… not when he is 2 months old and not when he is 25 years old. How much do you let your child be their own person and how much do you guide them and be with them?

Right now, I’m feeling the urge to err on the side of dependence. He is (after all) only 21 days old and very much in need of full time love and support. But while many women long for the days of dependence again after their child is grown, I am looking forward to a little bit more independence, where I can sit back proudly and watch him help himself grow and discover the world on his own.

Firsts This Week

• First Day Back At Work: Tom went back to work this week, which I’m sure can’t be easy… lack of sleep, and coming home to a little one who is only awake (if you are lucky) for a few hours. Although motherhood can be exhausting on some days, I am very happy that I still have another 5 weeks or so to enjoy here at home.
• First Night In The Crib: To coincide with Tom’s first week back at work, we also decided to start having Simon sleep in his crib. So far, it’s actually been an advantage to help the two of us sleep better. Although there is still at least once a night where we need to bring him into our bed to get back to sleep without crying.
• First Poop Explosion On The Go: Of course, I dress Simon up in a cute little outfit to go visit Goldsound and Organic, and the minute we pull him out of the car seat, we can smell something not so good.  Luckily I had packed an extra onesie, lesson learned.
• First Workplace Visit: Tom and I both walked Simon around our workplaces. It was nice to be at Organic and not talk once about work, only babies :) Many people told us that Simon looks a lot like me, and of course that he is a cutie.
• First Mail for Simon: Well, first mail (social security card) and his first package care of Ryan Sinon. Haven’t opened it yet, because a Ryan Sinon package is one of those things you wait and open with your husband. I can only imagine the coolest of stuff will be contained inside.

Favorite Picture This Week

Daddy dances around the living room to Duran Duran with Simon. When Simon is awake and alert, he loves being tossed around and handled, whether it’s exercising with Mommy or dancing with Daddy :)