As we approach the one month line: erratic feedings, co-sleeping nightmares, the dreaded “C” word, and more things to freak out new parents…

Just when I was supposed to be watching for Simon’s feedings to get further apart, there they go getting closer together. I’m declaring it a “growth spurt”, because he sure feels heavier and longer and I can’t think of any other reason why he would all the sudden need to eat nearly every hour.

But then again, it’s been pretty erratic… forget looking forward to a normal sleeping schedule if your baby’s eating schedule is all over the map. It’s begun Tom questioning whether or not my milk production is up to snuff, which I shouldn’t take personally but in this crazy hormonal place that I am… I kinda do.

That’s the burden of breastfeeding. You are solely responsible for sustaining this young person’s life (yet again, pregnancy repeat), only now he is in the world to demand it from you on a regular (or not so regular) basis. Is he getting enough, is he getting too much? Did I wait long enough from that glass of wine? Do I need to watch my diet? Do I have to cut out dairy? Did my milk cause him to have gas pains?

And there it is… the dreaded “C” word: Colic. I know Simon doesn’t have anything close to colic, but last night I do think he was having horrible gas pains. The poor little guy would whimper strangely as he barely slept, and if I bounced his legs up and down… a series of loud and not so pleasant smelling farts would come out. I can’t for the life of me think of something I ate that would have all the sudden caused it, so I just have to wait and hope it doesn’t become a regular occurrence.

With the ridiculous warning labels on everything you buy, the crazy warnings about SIDS, and the looming fear of colic… it’s no wonder new parents are all a little bit nutty!!

Forget the fear and focus on the fun…
I decided to not really care so much about all this fear-mongering. I could walk around thinking about all the stuff I’m not supposed to do as a parent, but instead I’m trying to find the things that Simon and I can do together.

Our week this week has consisted of reading books, dancing around to music, exercising, looking at interesting patterns on the big screen TV, playing dress up and taking photos, and napping together. Simon is still too young to fully enjoy much of this, but it gives me time to practice being a parent. With so little awake alert time during the day, I feel like I need to force myself to use it.

But I also don’t try and be in his face all the time. Sometimes I marvel at how interested and content he seems staring up at the ceiling lights or squirming in his bouncer. I try to reassure myself it’s okay I take this time to myself, after all, he certainly lets me know when he needs to be held or feed.

I can’t say I’m not going a little stir crazy… questioning what I do and don’t do, all by myself in a house all day talking to the cats and a squirmy erratic adorable newborn. Sometimes I feel put together and enthralled with the smallest of moments. And other times I just need to cry a bit to let out the tension.

Milestones This Week
In general Simon seems more alert and visually interested in things. He spends a lot of time staring at ceiling lights or my face. He loves to be picked up so that he looks over my shoulder as I walk around the house. He is very physically active, still rolling over, but hasn’t progressed much in the way of making cute baby sounds.

• Can I get an “ooooo”? It was faint each time, but I watched Simon do it on more than one occasion. When he was staring very intently at my face, I made an exaggerated “oooo” to see if he would imitate (something babies start to do into their second month). He looked very frustrated, but managed to give me a faint breathy “oooo” back.
• No more umbilical cord!! I was just beginning to think it was never going to come off. Much to my surprise I felt a lump in the back of Simon’s onesie, and out rolled his dried up umbilical cord. Simon now has a belly button!!

Favorite Picture This Week
After some pretty rough nights, I often bring Simon into our bed to cuddle him back to sleep. All my exhaustion and frustration goes away as soon as I wake up to see this little angel yawning and stretching beside me.