Now Entering Parenthood...

And so it begins… the return to work and the start of the rest of our lives with our little Simon. I have felt in a state of limbo the past few months, knowing that my leave was only temporary, trying to enjoy it as much as I could but never being able to quite “settle down” into a daily routine.

And I Thought I Was Sleep Deprived Before!!
Simon was actually better in his first week than he has been previously. He goes to bed around 7 or 8 pm, Tom wakes him up for a feeding right before we go to bed (around 11 pm), and then Simon wakes up once during our night (around 3-4 am) and for good when I get out of bed to start getting ready (around 7 am). But even with that “nice-for-a-two-month-old” schedule, I spent my Friday night passed out on the couch with my husband from 8 pm on… so much for the weekend!!

It’s not just the more than occasional super early bedtimes. My brain just DOES NOT want to function the way it normally did pre-Simon. I find myself at a loss for words at work, forgetting what task I was trying to complete, and in general just being a lot less polished than “2009 Marta” would have accepted. And it’s not like I had much time to “ease in” to my job again… it was more like a cannonball jump off of the high dive.

Breaking My Habit of Self-Doubt
The good news is that Simon seems to be a happy little angel at daycare. The bad news is that it had me seriously wondering over the weekend, “what do I do wrong” that he is not always a happy little angel around me. I think there are a couple of factors going on here:

1. They always get him before any evening fussy times
2. They certainly don’t want to make me worry, so of course they say he is always such a “happy baby”
3. Let’s face it, I am new at this and still learning the ropes

In truth, Simon has become way more happy and alert. Sometimes he is just the most smiley baby I have ever seen!! Sometimes that smile will turn into a cry out of the middle of nowhere, but other times he can just be content and relaxed for an entire awake period between naps. He is still hard to read (is he hungry? but he just ate!! is he bored? is he tired?)… but he is a baby after all, and I just have to remind myself that he isn’t holding it against me if it takes me a while to figure out just what the heck he wants.

Rain, Rain, Go Away… I Am Ready For Summer
So I am getting excited to introduce Simon to the rest of the world… to beaches, to zoos, even to our own backyard!! Right now our backyard is a bit of a soaked grass swamp, but we did take the opportunity over the warm days recently to take Simon out for a stroll around the neighborhood.

All of my experiments in different sights and sounds, different sensations on his face, his fingers, his toes… he is just barely beginning to show enthusiasm or shock or interest. But when he does, it actually reminds you that you are introducing this new little human to a world around him that he is just beginning to understand. It’s a pretty powerful and amazing feeling!!