Now Entering Parenthood...

It’s hard being the parent of a toddler AND being this pregnant. I’m just going to come right out and say it. But, it certainly is going to be infinitely harder to be the parent of a toddler and the parent of a newborn, so I try and appreciate my situation… try and not be annoyed that Simon is getting faster and livelier as I am getting slower and sluggish.

This logic is exactly why, despite as crazy as it sounds, we packed up our entire house and moved into a new one in the past month. (And still had time for a Memorial Day getaway) Because it is as simple as this… as crazy as things are, they can only get crazier, so you might as well go for it…

Simon the Blabbermouth
Never before has Simon been so talkative as he is right now, and it is a delight (well, mostly a delight).

Less a delight when he shrieks at the top of his lungs out of frustration that he…
A. Took his shoe off and can’t get it back on
B. Unbuckled his car seat chest strap (great!) and can’t put it back
C. Got a doorway blocked or a dangerous “toy” taken away
D. Decided the restaurant would be a good place to test his lungs
E. Tries to do something well beyond his capacity and fails

More a delight when he continues to surprise us with the words he knows and the context he knows how to use them in. For example, “ALL DONE” was an early phrase he learned for the end of meals, but he will now use to signify anything he has finished with. It’s “ALL DONE” when a cup goes empty. It’s “ALL DONE” when he’s ready to get out of the bathtub. It’s also “ALL DONE” when he doesn’t want to be in the car seat any more or has decided he’s ready for you to open the baby gate and let him downstairs. That’s when it is harder to explain that he may want to be “ALL DONE” but that doesn’t mean he gets to be.

Other words… “COOKA” is a big one, which means cookie, which really means animal crackers. He even knows where they are stored in our house and at daycare, and will stand outside the pantry and point while telling me “COOKA”. “DER YA GO” or “HERE” are phrases that denote he is done with what is in his hands and wants you to take it. He also will say “HI” and wave “BYE BYE”… but the most hilarious one so far has been his new obsession with “PEEPEE”, which has to be said with a big grin and a whisper. He means of course… his penis. Which he will happily grab during diaper changes, and wave “BYE BYE” to as we put it away. He is so delighted by his “PEEPEE” that we have used it in place of “CHEESE” during photos to get him to smile.

I’m Just Like You But Smaller!!
I’m continually shocked at how interested a little toddler is at being just like mom and dad, but I’m even more shocked at how quickly he picks things up and tries to imitate us… shocked and a little more worried about what behaviors or words I might be doing in front of my kid. We have reached the “sponge” age where he absorbs anything even after one viewing.

Examples… After one ride on the moped with Tom (very safely at low speeds in our driveway), it had to be perhaps even a month later, but when he saw the moped in the garage, he got up on it, touched the handles, and made the noise “BRRRRRRRRR”. He also has picked up my curling iron (not plugged in) and tried to curl his hair. He’s attempted to use my make-up brush, hair brush, and even Tom’s nasal spray. He’s very happy to try and “brush his teeth” even running the toothbrush under water and putting on toothpaste. Of course, he always wants us to sing the toothbrush song as he does it.

Songs are another thing he tries to imitate. He tries singing, but only manages to get out a few notes… like “EIEIO” (well not really even the “O”) or imitate his laughing turtle stuffed animal going “HAHAHA”. But it’s very brief… cuz the poor little guy just can’t remember more than a few notes at a time.

It’s not just imitating us that he finds amazing. When we make his stuffed animals imitate people, we just as well may have told him the funniest joke in the entire world. We are AMAZING comedians in the eyes of our toddler. If we pretend to feed a stuffed animal or if a stuffed animal gives us a kiss, it is pure comic genius. Simon also gets very interested in feeding his own stuffed animals, which gets very messy, because it isn’t always pretend food.

Finally, there is the general understanding of our actions and directions as adults that amazes me. I can tell him to “COME HERE” or “GIVE THAT TO MOMMY” or “GO FIND DADDY” and he knows exactly what I’m talking about. But the biggest surprise was when my husband actually embarrassed Simon… “MUH MUH MUH” while pointing has become Simon’s way of indicating he wants an object, usually a food while eating. One night while eating out, Tom pointed to Simon and did it right back to him… and the kid stopped, looked down with a big grin and turned BRIGHT RED. HE WAS BLUSHING!!! He knew that Daddy was making fun of him and he was embarrassed!!

The Not So Sweet Life
It isn’t, of course, all fun and games. Some things about having a toddler are a nightmare and a constant drain on your patience, energy, sanity, and confidence.

Feeding time!! This is a particular nightmare. If we are going out to eat, even more so. We have to order his food as quickly as possible and keep him occupied through multiple methods. Even then, he will reach his limit and we will usually end up downing our meals and rushing out the door.

Meals at home are a mixture of really good days and bad days. Sometimes he is a non-stop vacuum and surprises us with his grown up palate… eating olives, hummus, green beans by the handful, fresh asparagus. Sometimes even the no-brainer foods end up getting spit out and eventually on the floor. Worst is when he refuses to even try a food, especially one that you know he’d like. And the “on the floor” thing is the pits.

The worst part… doubting yourself. How do I teach him not to put stuff on the floor? Do I end mealtime? But that is also what he wants, and I want him to eat. Should I let him scream in the restaurant and learn to be patient? Or should I shove entertaining objects in his face in an attempt to buy Mommy and Daddy a few more minutes to enjoy their evening out?

The not-so-fun stuff is also our little monster’s persistence to get into everything, try everything, taste everything, and his absolute intolerance for being told “NO”. Sometimes it is flat out dangerous… like trying to unplug and replug in electrical cords, or turn the oven knobs, or lift something way too heavy for him, or climb on top of an unstable chair, or run right out into traffic. The kid seriously wants to kill himself at all times and would.

Sometimes you find yourself compromising. That thing isn’t really THAT dirty, he can put that in his mouth. If he gets hurt doing THAT then at least he will learn a valuable lesson. If the hurt wouldn’t be scarring or the fact that he broke it wouldn’t be that bad, then you just gotta let it slide… or else you are running around saying “NO” to everything, which would make our scientist very upset. And so we compromise… you can touch this but not that, you can do this but not that. I guess that would make a suitable toy??

I don’t know if it is right, but it is how I stay sane. That and taking him to as many places I can where he can roam free, touch stuff, and not kill himself… thank you playgrounds, mall playscapes, childrens museums, wide open parks and babyproofed houses. There is nothing worse than going over to a house that is insanely un-babyproof and chasing your kid around for a few hours.

And Then There Was Four…
So yeah. That’s crazy, and like I said, as exhausting and crazy and fascinating as it all is, I have to keep telling myself that it is only going to get crazier, because Charlie is due any minute. Like ANY minute.

Simon doesn’t know what he is in for. I don’t know how to tell him. But I have finally reached that stage of pregnancy where I am no longer in fear of giving birth, of painful labor, of exhausting nights ahead… because it is all better than being 9 months pregnant. It is better than the aches, the swollen feet, the tiredness, getting kicked HARD in my sides or head butted in my cervix.

It is a new adventure ahead for the entire family, and for better or worse, it is an adventure I am ready to take. So bring it!