Now Entering Parenthood...

In the wee hours of June 23rd, while Simon was sleeping, his little brother Charlie was prepping to be born. We left the house shortly after Simon woke up, only able to say hello in passing and Charlie was born at the hospital before Simon was even down for his morning nap. Over the course of breakfast, Simon went from only child to official “big brother”.

First Encounters
Luckily we were able to capture the moment on film, which took some coordinating with nap schedules and holding Simon’s attention upstairs while Mommy and Daddy snuck Charlie into the house.

I think that Simon was kinda spooked by the fact that his parents just showed up out of nowhere, and put all the attention on him. I don’t know that he knew just what was different, but I have to imagine after having us gone for 24 hours unexpectedly and then return… Mommy this time without a big huge belly, he was a little unsettled.

Beyond first time jitters, Simon has had the same level of emotion and enthusiasm around Charlie so far. It’s fascination and interest with the “beebee”, who he loves to point to and talk about. Sometimes it is hard to keep him away, as he wants to touch Charlie’s hair, try and give him a pacifier, and press his chest to see if he makes noises like his baby doll.

Other times it is complete lack of interest, just like any toy in the toy box he has seen enough of and is ready for something far more interesting… like an electric drill. Now that is more fun than a silly “beebee”.

Simon, Who Is This Little Boy?
One thing I was surprised by is how instantly I felt slightly disconnected or changed in my feelings towards Simon. I left the house head over heals in love with him, with him being my sole focus for nurturing and consideration.

I came back to the house feeling a little changed. Simon seemed bigger, less familiar, and as Tom had warned, more capable than we should be giving him credit for. After all he is still a technically a “baby”, he is still MY BABY. But I’m already feeling that nagging divide of attention.

But after a first moment of strangeness, like seeing a loved one after a while away, it faded. I’ve been trying to spend one-on-one time with Simon. At breakfast the next day I am reminded of all the little things I love so much about him. He tries to feed me, tries to make me laugh… he is a neat nick, he is stubborn, he is insanely affectionate, he loves being the clown, he is curious and kind. But, if there is one thing he isn’t any more… it’s my only responsibility.

Charlie, My New Peanut (aka Parasite)
Wow, I forgot what this newborn thing was like, and I guess Charlie may or may not be different than Simon in some ways. I don’t remember constantly nursing Simon, and yet here Charlie is basically wanting to hop from one breast to the other, back and forth, until he passes out for a few hours. It’s not even worth timing or keeping track of. It’s on demand, it’s all the time.

I also forgot just how insanely delicate and tiny newborns are. Wrapped up in blankets, Charlie is just this little lump of soft squirmy flesh. Glassy eyes that open up in wonder and amazement at the world. He seems so lost and innocent, you can’t help but want to protect and take care of him. It’s almost painful to look into the eyes of something so helpless… it’s also hard to believe in a few short months, he will be a moving babbling baby just like his brother was.

And that’s the other thing. Now I look at Simon, and there is this sense of pride and appreciation. Simon represents a year and a half (plus some) of hard parenting work. He is an end product and a work in progress. Charlie is a blank slate, which is exciting and terrifying. Who is he going to be? What’s he going to look like? But in the meantime, how can I find enough time to snuggle this must-be-snuggled creature while chasing down a toddler?

A Glimpse Into The Future
“Where’s Simon?” After 2 minutes of taking pictures of my mom and Charlie, we became intensely aware of the silence in the house. Look into the hallway, front door wide open and Tom runs outside to find Simon in the garage on his moped “Bbrrrrrrrr”. This is the future. Split attention and mini disasters averted.

Luckily Charlie doesn’t move, but he cries. In my attempt to get a bath during one of his sleeps, he woke up and cried which ruined Simon’s nap. While Charlie was sleeping and I was watching Simon… I tried to go to the bathroom for a minute and a shrieking playful Simon decided to wake Charlie up.

So, at this point my summer looks like this… nobody gets sleep and Mommy doesn’t really get to do normal functions (eat, bathe, poop) until Daddy gets home. Well, until I become a pro at this. Here’s hoping!!