Now Entering Parenthood...

Loving Life At Seven Months Old

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 22:00:57 -0400

Simon turned seven months old today. Hard to believe it’s gone by this fast, but with every new accomplishment, I find myself excited for the next. I love this little boy!!

Daytime and Nighttime Delight

Every new month is my favorite month. Everything Simon does is making him more and more fun… sure, his ability to move more and grab more (including Papa’s mustache) can make him a bit harder to watch and keep control over, but it also makes him funny and just plain fun.

Simon has slept through the night a couple more times, and on nights he doesn’t, he basically just wakes up once in the early morning (4 or 5) before dozing off for a few more hours. During the day, he’s giggly and happy, and for the most part he still smiles for complete strangers whenever we are out. We see an occasional peak of “separation anxiety” and “stranger anxiety” but it is pretty fleeting.

Rocking, Rolling, And Maybe Crawling!
Last month Simon was just starting to sit on his own. Now he can really hold the pose for a long time, keeping himself entertained with blocks or toys while sitting up. I adore sitting up up and then letting him play while I work in the kitchen… he looks so cute sitting on his own as I peak back to him every few seconds.

Sitting is one thing, crawling is a whole new ball of wax. Out of nowhere two weeks ago, Simon popped up on all fours and began rocking back and forth. I am not ready for this, I don’t know where it came from. And just this Friday, as we played with him on the floor, taunting him with a PS3 controller… Simon took his first “steps” forward, crawling little by little across the floor.

My first thought was “Cool!”, my second thought was “Oh crap!!”

What’s A Bug To Eat?

Now that Simon has a nice set of chompers, I’ve been feeding him more chunky and challenging food. Current favorites include fig oatmeal and carrots with lentils. Well, his real true favorite is any type of fresh fruit in what we’ve started calling his “sucky sock”. I’d love to start him on some finger food, but his pincher grasp is not really working yet, and he just ends up with a fistful of mushy food.

Happy, Happy Boy!!

Sitting, Sleeping, Smiling at Six Months Old

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 20:27:00 -0400

Simon is getting very used to his media savvy folks… to the point where he stares at the camera more than our faces and saves his big milestone moments for the few days right before I write my monthly post. It kinda overshadows everything else that happened that month, but so it goes…

What did Simon do exactly in the past 3 days?

1. Sleep Through The Night
For some parents it happens right away, for others it takes quite a while. I’d like to consider us somewhere in the middle, but in truth… it might have taken Simon a little longer to get to this milestone that the average baby. So long as you get there, it’s easy to forget the journey along the way, and so we have arrived… from 7 pm to 7 am. May it be the beginning of a very welcome pattern.

Randomness? Coerced? Simon did “sleep through the night” the second night we decided to ween him from his nighttime feedings. I’m not sure if that was the magical trick, and I will drive myself nuts thinking about why I didn’t try weening before. But it’s hard to predict anything in a baby’s life, especially around sleeping.

2. Sit On His Own
Wobbly, sure, but it is amazing how quickly a kid goes from completely flopping over on you to being able to hold himself up for a good 5 minutes solid. He went from hopelessly “supported” to being able to adjust his spine and put out his hands for support whenever he felt a bit tipsy. He’s still most comfortable laying on his tummy, squirming like an inch worm, but he’s seeming to enjoy his new vantage point while he can hold it.

3. First Teeth!!
Not even a weekend after Amma said “I checked those teeth, they aren’t coming in for a while”, I felt a sharp little point sticking out of the bottom gum in Simon’s mouth. Now this has happened before, so I didn’t get too excited, not even when his daycare girl Bailey came running excitedly to me… “a tooth, a tooth”.

But several days later, it isn’t just a point… it is two clearly visible tops of bottom teeth coming in. He’s in a bit of pain, but sleeping better than ever strangely enough. I’ve been feeding him ice cold watermelon and other fruit slushies that he seems to enjoy (except for the occasional brain freeze).

Other Fun Stuff At Six Months
Foods!! Simon has been loving just about everything I feel like making him, and even I have been getting more adventurous. Not just peas, but peas with sweet curry… creamed spinach with parsnips… roasted potatoes and leeks… mango and papaya. Right now it is my creative outlet and fun weekend activity.

Lon and Roxy came back out for another visit. They convinced me to purchase a “pile of plastic poo” in the form of a backyard blow-up water park. Simon wasn’t too happy at first, but once we got the water warm enough, he was all about it.

I met up with my old high school friend Jessica and her cute little baby boy Ben for a BBQ in the park. We thought it would be a fun idea to put together as many babies as possible and see what happens.

Time Flies Fast, Five Months Old

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 22:17:00 -0400

Can it really be five months? Time is speeding by and the months are blending together. Some things are slow going, like Simon actual moving backwards on his sleeping habits this month. Other things are fast acting, like Simon becoming a grabber and a roller for better or worse, increasingly curious and active in the world around him.

So what else is up with our little guy this month…

Our first vacation as a family

Without going into too much adult life detail (since Simon is far more cute and interesting), for the past month I went from casually considering other job opportunities to interviewing for multiple positions, including one that would have us uprooting and moving out to New York. By the end of the month, I was already starting my new job and the family was in desperate need of some time away from all this serious life stuff… so at the last minute we decided to spend Memorial Day weekend in Saugatuck, MI.

We stayed at a bed and breakfast in the downtown. I was worried about how naptime and bedtime would work, but Simon went down for a nap both days as we ate breakfast downstairs. And he came pretty close to sleeping through the night both nights.

It was a pretty fabulous and classic West Michigan trip, complete with a hiking trek out to the sand dunes, a dip in the “refreshingly” cold waters, lunch at New Holland Brewery, and a visit to the windmills in Holland. It was fun for Simon’s first vacation to be a return to what I loved about my childhood.

Good Sleep, Bad Sleep… make up your mind child
After the vacation, actually in the car ride back after Simon’s very first tantrum, he developed a stuffy nose. After some amazing nights of sleep on vacation, it was back to 3-4 night wakings. Then he was normal (which is 1-2 wakings for us at this point), then he had a few days of fever. Then he was normal, and last night for god knows what reason, he was up about 6 times. If that kid doesn’t pop a tooth soon just to give me some reason for this sporadic behavior, I’m going to go mad!!

Then, he is so fun when he is awake, it’s easy to forget the hard stuff. Tom has really grown attached to Simon more than ever, and nobody can make Simon laugh quite like daddy…

Feeding time for the Bug :)
So last month, I got permission from the pediatrician to start feeding Simon solid food. The food adventure has begun. We are having a blast, and Simon is game most of the time. There has been a few fussy moments, many many messy moments, but after a month he is getting pretty good about engaging in meal time… even figuring out that it really helps if you open your mouth when the spoon comes by.

First food favorites: pears, cantaloupe, sweet potato
Still skeptical on: peas, avocado, mama’s veggie medley

Ooooh, that face!! Momma’s favorite Simon smiles
Everyone comments on what a smiley baby we have. Simon’s a charmer, he will smile at ANYONE who gives him a little bit of attention.

First Mother's Day, Four Months Old

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:08:00 -0400

So, can I finally just say it? I love being a mom. I’ve had a couple people mention recently that it “looks like you and Tom are having fun” or that motherhood suits me. I don’t know what it is, but yeah… I really am having fun. I mean, sure, I am exhausted perpetually, I can’t get out to see a new movie, and I don’t really remember the last time I had a satisfying exercise session or made a home cooked meal. But… fun, yes, indeed it is.

Speaking of Fun… Time for First Foods
As with everything motherhood related, there is a debate over when you can give your baby solid foods for the first time. Our parents generation was experimenting with rice cereal during the first few weeks of life. Nowadays, you will get a hearty slap on the wrist from the parenting police if you even think about solid foods before 6 months.

Well, Tom and I have been experimenting with first “tastes”, not full out food. But I figure a little flavor on the fingertip isn’t going to hurt anyone. Plus it’s fun to see Simon’s reaction to things other than breast milk. Mashed potatoes = good, garlic lime sauce = bad. Then there is the really odd reaction he had to hummus… pain, confusion, happy, demanding more… repeat.

But, I’ve been holding off at doing actual feedings until I got the thumbs up from the pediatrician, which we got at his 4 month check up this weekend. He can hold his head up like a champion, he’s taking 30 ounces of breast milk a day and sometimes demanding more, and he’s doubled his birth weight. It’s time to get that kid some food!! And I couldn’t have asked for a better Mother’s Day present, I am so excited to cook for my little guy.

From Giggles to Full On Laughter
So Simon has gone from an occasional giggle to an occasional laughing fit. It turns out you just have to act pretty stupid to make it happen :)

It looks like he enjoys fart sounds, and he also enjoys bath time. I like to place him on my tummy so that he can kick his legs in the water. This week he was SO delighted by the sensation that he squealed repeatedly… then he became so delighted by the sound of himself squealing that he tried it louder and louder and louder, until Tom thought our son had gone crazy.

Now Hear This… We Have Roll-over
So, one really awesome thing about our day care is that the younger caretaker (Bailey) has been sending us SMS/MMS updates during the day. I think it’s just because she has become as excited as we have over Simon’s progress. So this week we got an excited text the minute he successfully rolled over from back to front to back again. (time to baby proof the house!!)

Plus, we get a whole bunch of these adorable images of Simon interacting with the other young kids.

So… he’s sleeping anywhere from 7-10 hours straight each night. He laughs, he smiles. We are starting first foods tomorrow. For my very first Mother’s Day, I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m happy and in love, and looking forward to the summer ahead.

So Many Firsts, So Little Time

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 20:54:00 -0400

Simon is getting unbelievably adorable. In the past two weeks he has gone from mildly smiley, to smiles and giggles and loads of fun… especially in the amazingly warm Michigan April weather.

We have passed the three month mark and he is a delight to come home to everyday. I was going to wait until the 4 month mark to do my next update, but over the weekend, we had a couple of awesome firsts :)

First Giggles
Simon laughed pretty hard when we put in in front of the mirror for the first time. It might have something to do with the black mustache he had on, which he found pretty hilarious. But since then, he has been laughing a little more and a little more, until today we got full on giggles…

First Word?
It doesn’t really count until he says something and means it. He has uttered the phrase “Hi” and “Yeah!” before, but just out of complete coincidence of vowels and sounds that new babies make. This weekend, we caught him saying “Mama” for the first time ever, and on video nonetheless!! It’s the first time I’ve heard him even use the “m” sound, let alone string together a fairly clear “oh… mum-ma”

First Sleep Through The Night
Tom doesn’t want to call it a “sleep through the night” until he goes to bed at 7pm and doesn’t wake up until 7am. I just wanted proof of major progress in the sleep department, and in the past two weeks we have gotten just that. Simon had his first 8 hours of sleep (from 8:30 pm to 4:30 am). A week later he had his first textbook sleep through the night (from 11 pm to 6 am). He has been getting pretty consistent 5-7 hour stretches of sleep and usually only wakes up once during the night now. Awesome!!

First Trip Out To The Park
We’ve been going outside almost everyday now. Simon got his first experience on a swing and down a slide. More fun for us than for him, although he did end up loving the swing.

And Oh So Many Smiles…

Parenthood Update: Almost Three Months

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:03:15 -0400

It’s hard to believe we are almost arriving at month #3 of our life with Simon. Everything people say is true. The first two months are rough, and then the real reward sets in. Much to my parents surprise, I am already ready to bring another life into this world again. I’m going to wait until the end of the year… but Tom and I already find ourselves excitedly talking about the family we are growing into. I find it adorable to imagine our tiny little Simon as someone’s big brother.

But yes… I am getting ahead of myself… after all, we have a summer to enjoy, a second honeymoon to Sonoma, and a whole lot of Simon’s first year on Earth :)

Life Back At Work
It’s getting easier to take him to and from daycare. Now that he is way less fussy even for us, I feel more and more like the Simon they glow to me about is the same Simon I take home at the end of the day. He IS a happy baby, and a good sleeper, and a good eater… well mostly. The biggest side effect of daycare has been that Simon is sometimes finicky about nursing off the breast. It’s not all the time, but enough to be an annoyance.

But mostly, I feel pretty accomplished as a working mommy, able to separate my roles with ease. I like the feeling of isolating myself to pump a few times a day. It grounds me, and reminds me that while I get emotionally involved in the work I do during the day… ultimately, I am only doing that work so that I can help support this other life I get to come home to at the end of the day. By 5 pm when I get in the car, I let my thoughts of work dissipate, and by the time I pick up “the Bug” (our nickname for Simon) I am 99% Mom.

Baby Smiles are Crack for New Parents
It must look boring to an outsider, but watching Simon is better than any program on TV (yes, even LOST). Now that he smiles… and not just questionable smirks, but huge gaping grins and cute little closed mouth smiles… it’s an amazing feeling. You feel bounded in a way that wasn’t there before.

Every morning I wake up a little earlier than I might need to, I bring Simon down to the family room and he smiles and coos at me while I pump. Sometimes in the morning I will be nursing him, and he will look into my eyes deeply and smile so big that he falls right off the boob. Sometimes he is being so social with me that I can’t even get him to finish nursing.

Goo-goo Ga-ga
Simon has become quite the little talker. Some days he won’t make so much as a peep, but other days he can go on for twenty minutes back and forth with one of us. This morning when I put him down on his changing table, he actually exclaimed “yeah!” and at dinner he went on for about five minutes of “oooo-grrrrroooo owww” like he was telling us the story of his day.

I keep listening closely every day for the sounds of new letters. At first it was all vowels, and then slowly he started adding new sounds. Just like classic baby “goo” and “ga”, it was funny to me that the “G” sound came early. This week he has adopted the Spanish rolling “rrrrrrr”. Newcomers on the scene are the “L” and the “B”. I’m still waiting for the “M” sound so that I can maybe here “mama” in the near future!!

Milestones This Month

First sleep through the night!! Well, not quite. Technically it is supposed to be from midnight until 5 or 6 am. Simon has twice woken up at 4:30 am, just to make it not quite a “sleep through the night”. On 4/1 (April Fool’s Day), he slept for 8 hour straight, from 8:30 pm to 4:30 am… when I finally broke down to check and make sure he was okay.
First playtime with a toy. He is just beginning to understand what his hands are and how to manipulate them. This week I watched him actually shake a rattle and concentrate intensely on what his hands were doing. He even cried when he accidentally dropped his new found toy. And he has started to finally reach towards the dangly things in his playmat.
First giggles? Tom swears that when he was wearing Simon in the Baby Bjorn, and he walked passed a mirror… Simon looked at his reflection, smiled hugely and let out a few quick laughs. We still haven’t heard a clear giggle fit yet, but Simon is so smiley all the time, we must be close.

Favorite New Photos of the Bug

Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:05:06 -0400

And so it begins… the return to work and the start of the rest of our lives with our little Simon. I have felt in a state of limbo the past few months, knowing that my leave was only temporary, trying to enjoy it as much as I could but never being able to quite “settle down” into a daily routine.

And I Thought I Was Sleep Deprived Before!!
Simon was actually better in his first week than he has been previously. He goes to bed around 7 or 8 pm, Tom wakes him up for a feeding right before we go to bed (around 11 pm), and then Simon wakes up once during our night (around 3-4 am) and for good when I get out of bed to start getting ready (around 7 am). But even with that “nice-for-a-two-month-old” schedule, I spent my Friday night passed out on the couch with my husband from 8 pm on… so much for the weekend!!

It’s not just the more than occasional super early bedtimes. My brain just DOES NOT want to function the way it normally did pre-Simon. I find myself at a loss for words at work, forgetting what task I was trying to complete, and in general just being a lot less polished than “2009 Marta” would have accepted. And it’s not like I had much time to “ease in” to my job again… it was more like a cannonball jump off of the high dive.

Breaking My Habit of Self-Doubt
The good news is that Simon seems to be a happy little angel at daycare. The bad news is that it had me seriously wondering over the weekend, “what do I do wrong” that he is not always a happy little angel around me. I think there are a couple of factors going on here:

1. They always get him before any evening fussy times
2. They certainly don’t want to make me worry, so of course they say he is always such a “happy baby”
3. Let’s face it, I am new at this and still learning the ropes

In truth, Simon has become way more happy and alert. Sometimes he is just the most smiley baby I have ever seen!! Sometimes that smile will turn into a cry out of the middle of nowhere, but other times he can just be content and relaxed for an entire awake period between naps. He is still hard to read (is he hungry? but he just ate!! is he bored? is he tired?)… but he is a baby after all, and I just have to remind myself that he isn’t holding it against me if it takes me a while to figure out just what the heck he wants.

Rain, Rain, Go Away… I Am Ready For Summer
So I am getting excited to introduce Simon to the rest of the world… to beaches, to zoos, even to our own backyard!! Right now our backyard is a bit of a soaked grass swamp, but we did take the opportunity over the warm days recently to take Simon out for a stroll around the neighborhood.

All of my experiments in different sights and sounds, different sensations on his face, his fingers, his toes… he is just barely beginning to show enthusiasm or shock or interest. But when he does, it actually reminds you that you are introducing this new little human to a world around him that he is just beginning to understand. It’s a pretty powerful and amazing feeling!!

Parenthood Update: Two Months Old!!

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:12:58 -0500

Simon is two months old now, and steadily gaining weight, as many of our recent photos will show. He’s got “chub” on parts of his body that I would never expect. Wrist chub? Ankle chub? I keep reminding myself that baby fat is completely normal, I just hope he doesn’t get TOO fat! This past week has been huge for us, because Simon has finally started doing something we’ve been anxiously awaiting: smiling!

I had no idea that such a seemingly small thing could have such an impact on me, but it most definitely does. Because newborns don’t do much other than eat, sleep, cry, and mess their diapers, I have used some not so flattering terms to describe my son (“slug”, “lump”, “blob”, etc). However, as Simon has begun to make more and more adorable “cooing” sounds, I’m finally starting to see him in a whole new way. At times, it can even feel like I am actually having a “conversation” with him. But all the cooing and cute fidgeting in the world doesn’t compare to seeing your child stare blankly at you for about 10 seconds, then witnessing that blankness slowly become a grin, followed finally by a full blown smile that lasts for more than 5 seconds.

It’s almost impossible to explain what it felt like to see that for the first time. Everyone around me has always said “you won’t know until you’re there”, and it couldn’t be more true. I was recently thinking about the decision to have kids as a whole. It’s something that you know you want to do, but you really don’t know why. It’s just this voice inside your head that just comes on…..”time to think about pro-creating”….but until you actually hold the child in your arms, all you can do is imagine what you think it might be like. Now that Simon is cooing & smiling, this whole thing just got a lot more interesting and awesome for me as a dad.

Sadly, all of this happened just a few days before we began bringing him to…you guessed it… daycare. Monday was Simon’s first day at daycare, and it was not easy for us. In the midst of all the preparation and hustling to get him out the door on time, we forgot to pack the most essential item of all….his food! Luckily we had a can of formula in the diaper bag, so it wasn’t that big a deal, but it just added to the sadness and stress we were both feeling. But I still feel that we made a great choice in daycares.

It’s a home daycare run by a very sweet and loving Indian woman named Mita. She and her two assistants have about 10 kids total, and Simon is one of three infants. Mita understood the stress we were feeling and made sure to remind us that we could call her anytime, for any reason at all. Her house is completely devoted to being a daycare, full of toys and all sorts of things that you’d find in a typical preschool environment. That is, except for the lavish artwork and crazy Indian statues that cover the walls. A perfect environment for stimulating a growing baby’s mind.

We’ve not quite reached the end of the first week, and already I’m feeling as though we’re getting used to the new routine. Simon seems to be getting pretty regular with his sleeping as well, though he’s still not very close to sleeping through the night. That is something that I’ll hopefully be able to report soon in an upcoming post.

Simon begins a talkative streak this week. Can’t wait for...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:46:28 -0500

Simon begins a talkative streak this week. Can’t wait for more baby babble!!

Vroom… vroom… Simon and his first toy :)

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:21:00 -0500

Vroom… vroom… Simon and his first toy :)

Simon reading his favorite book :) He is really starting to keep...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:32:49 -0500

Simon reading his favorite book :) He is really starting to keep his head up good!!

Parenthood Update: Week Seven

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:05:00 -0500

Sleep, Oh How I Miss You
It seems like I didn’t realize just how much my body missed sleeping until I got a few longer stretches of it. After an evening where Simon was overstimulated (the kid is gonna have to get used to it!!) by adoring grandparents, uncles and an aunt… he was inconsolable and hyper-awake for two straight hours. After which he passed out for a six hours stretch, fed, and then had a four and a half hour stretch. I woke up not rejuvenated, but feeling as though I finally got a taste of something I needed SO very very much more of…

And so we have begun sharing nighttime feedings. I am not back to work yet, but it doesn’t matter. My body is telling me I have hit a limit and I need to do something to increase my sleep, or else I am going to (and already have on occasion) become an illogical emotional wreck. Sleep = sanity.

Only problem with sharing the nights is that Simon still is not on a “schedule”. He can take one to four naps. His bedtime is anywhere from 6:30 to 9:00 pm. And every night is a new adventure, as far as how often and when he might wake up to eat. Is my baby supposed to be on a schedule by now? Should I be doing more to help him get on a schedule?

Wait, I Thought I Said I Wouldn’t Do That!!
How quickly do you forget the things you tell yourself before you have a child…

1. I will never feel bad or inadequate or self-conscious for having a crying baby in public, let alone in front of friends and family
2. I will never compare Simon’s development to other kids and wonder if I am doing something wrong
3. I will avoid Google-diagnosing my child at the first sign of something weird. I will take the advice of others with a grain of salt and trust my gut

All good advice. All harder to follow than you think as a self-conscious new mom.

It doesn’t help that Baby Center keeps sending me e-mails of week by week milestones and sample “baby schedules”. In almost every single one, a glowing mom goes on about how her two month old baby is sleeping through the night and chowing down on 4-5 ounces of formula. How am I not supposed to wonder if formula = the secret to sleep? Or start thinking that maybe I’ve not built Simon’s stomach up enough, since he only takes around 2 ounces of breast milk in a sitting… and still wants to feed every 2 hours?

You can drive yourself crazy and search engines are a never-ending tool to allow you to affirm and negate whatever viewpoint you are investigating. Supplementing with formula… will make baby and mommy happy or will instantly cause your milk to run dry. Adding rice cereal to breast milk… secret key to sleeping through the night or leading cause of childhood food allergies. Take your pick!!

Which is why I am so grateful for a dose of realism from…

An Amazing Circle of Support
On Sunday, Jocelyn and her sister-in-law Anne came over with their adorable children… Toren (9 months), Emmett (11 months), and Gwen (3 years). It was just the type of mild chaos we needed. A house full of a variety of children getting into things, playing, laughing, crying, feeding, etc. I also have great friends at work who all have little ones of their own, and their anecdotes are always a constant source of amusement and enlightenment.

That has been the stuff keeping me the most sane… hearing other women I respect remind me that it’s okay to… feel slightly excited to return to work and have someone else take over a little bit of the burden of taking care of Simon. It’s okay to want to buy a swing, so that I can have somewhere to put Simon down, somewhere that makes him happy and possibly even fall asleep. It’s okay to enjoy this portable stage… the magical car seat that creates a calm and “take me anywhere, even to that nice wine bar” baby.

There is just too much to feel guilty about when you read all those attachment parenting or self-confident baby books that want you to feel like ANYTHING that makes life a little easier, ANYTHING that cuts corners a bit, ANYTHING that acknowledges your own needs is BAD BAD BAD. But, I am realizing more and more everyday that… Happy mommy and happy daddy makes happy baby!!

Simon goes into day care in a little over a week. And yes, I am a bit excited. I love our time together right now, but I will be a better mom if I can get my adult world interactions out during the day and have more focus and dedication with him on the weekends or at night. I will feel more complete and balanced. And I can’t convince myself that makes me a bad person or a bad mommy.

Too Many Good Photos To Count
We got a whole amazing series of photos when Lon and Roxy where in town that are up on Flickr… here are some of the highlights below.

Parenthood Update: Week Six

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:41:00 -0500

Here Comes Company
This week we got to spend time with Lon and Roxy, who were visiting from California. We decided it would be a good idea to have them stay with us in our house, as it would be the easiest way for them to spend the most time with their new nephew Simon. Hopefully after the week is up, they still agree that was a good idea :)

With Tom also taking the week off, it was a pretty full house. All in all I think Simon has behaved generally well, but his sleep schedule (naps and nighttime) is all over the board. He hasn’t gone down for naps easily and doesn’t stay asleep long… so by the time we are ready to watch something together, either the crying starts up again or I am ready to go down for the night. Simon also thought this would be a good week to start waking up at 6 AM. And on one particularly bad night, he woke me up every hour or so.

I’m hoping it’s been a good experience for Lon and Roxy that was both realistic but not too exhausting to watch… their nephew is pretty damn cute, so I’m hoping that scores him some major points while his social skills still leave something to be desired. Although he did shoot Roxy and me a nice big smile yesterday while we were watching TV… so big that his pacifier fell right out of his mouth.

Time Goes By Fast, Time Goes By Slow
I’m back for my first OBGYN visit today, which means that Simon is already six weeks old… which also means that I’m possibly only two (and a half) weeks away from returning to work. So from that standpoint it feels as if time is going by relatively fast. Am I really ready to re-enter the normal world? It seems like I blinked and now maternity leave is almost over.

That is the FAST, but then there is the SLOW… Simon is just barely beginning to smile this week. It’s usually when he’s on his belly and looking up at Mommy or Daddy. He will make little noises (“owww”, “ahhh”, even an occasional “HI!!”) with a little bit of a grin on his face. It’s faint, but forming. Also, despite one amazingly long stretch (well over 5 hours) of sleep Simon received last Friday, for the most part the nights still consist of 3-4 feedings spaced roughly 2-3 hours apart.

I’d like to believe we are getting over this hump… to a place where we have a baby that smiles, laughs, babbles and more than occasionally sleeps for even 4 hours at a time. I know when we look back this will all be in the blink of an eye, but right now it feels like it is taking forever.

At least Simon has been happier in the past week. Chalk it up to a growth spurt, or extra gas, or lack of good sleep last week… but we went from one week of a constantly fussy baby… if he wasn’t asleep or on a boob, then he was crying or at least one minute away from crying. Now we have a normally fussy but generally happy baby who can sit for half an hour in his bouncer slowly dozing off, or can play with Mommy for fifteen minutes on the floor making adorable sounds.

Maybe it has something to do with this…

All Hail “The Schedule”
I’m feeling like Simon is still not ready to have an actual schedule (maybe some babies are by this point), but I have started following some general guidelines from the Healthy Sleep Habits book… and it really has seemed to make Simon happier and this make me happier as well. Mostly it feels like common sense and being more open and aware of what cues your baby is trying to give you.

So as much as I hate it, I’ve begun trying to wake up around 7 or 7:30, which may have to go even earlier when I go back to work. I’m not sure if this is what Simon wants yet, since it is usually really hard to put him back to bed after his 5-ish or 6-ish feeding (varies from night to night). So, he might want to wake up even earlier… yikes!!

Next I try and soothe him to sleep the minute he starts to give me drowsy signs through out the day (yawn, droopy eyelid, off in a daze). I turn the lights down, swaddle, pacifier, and usually within half an hour he is sleepy enough to put up in his crib for a nap. On good days, he is pretty close to a three nap routine (at 1-2 hours a pop)… on not so good days, he’ll only go down for twenty minutes and scattered all through out the day.

What I’m starting to notice is that good days usually mean good nights, and interruptions (like him sleeping in his car seat while out) tend to throw the system out of whack… but not always. As much as I enjoy the routine (and the “better” nights), I’m also not the type of person to be a hermit or to refuse house guests. So, I’m hoping it all balances out in the end… enough normal days to get him comfortable and happy, but not so much that he’s unaccustomed to being out in the world beyond our house or around his loving extended family.

Milestones This Week

Can I get a smile? I don’t know whether to put it in the baby book yet or not, but he’s been shooting me brief but adorable little smiles, especially while “talking”. Next week I’ll have to try and capture some on camera and let people decide if they count or not. He also has begun sticking his tongue out a lot at me :)
First house guests
Maiden voyage of the stroller
First use of formula used during a particularly bad night where I wanted sleep but didn’t want to tap into my breast milk “reserves”… and Tom has been practically begging for more ways to help me out

New Adventures!! The Strickland family goes out to the Briarwood...

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:08:39 -0500

New Adventures!! The Strickland family goes out to the Briarwood Mall for shopping and dinner.

Parenthood Update: Week Five

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 16:33:00 -0500

Simon is now five weeks old! The past month has been amazing, and very exhausting. I took off the first 2 weeks after his birth to focus on this new little person that I helped bring into the world, and it went by in the blink of an eye. During this brief but unforgettable time, I changed a ton of diapers, washed many poop covered onesies, gave Simon his first bath, and even took him out for a few short excursions.

Going back to work after that second week was difficult… I felt like I was going to miss out on the small little milestones he might reach, and I just really missed being away from him. This wasn’t an easy transition for Marta either, as now she was left alone to take care of him. To make things even more difficult, he was beginning to become harder to keep happy for long periods of time. It’s frustrating, to say the least, when your wife calls you at work, trying to hold back tears as she explains to you how tough her day is going, and you can’t be there to help her.

But no matter how hard he can be at times, it’s impossible to let it bother me. Instead I like to focus on how he has grown over 2 pounds since he was born, how much more he is able to look me in the eyes, how he seems to use his hands to adjust his pacifier, and how he is just starting to use his vocal chords to make sounds other than crying. It’s true what all the other parents say… the littlest advancement your child makes can be ridiculously exciting.

We have been focusing a lot on his vision and trying to get him to really focus on things. Marta got online and downloaded a bunch of simple, high contrast “images for babies to stare at”, which we then put on our big screen TV as a slideshow for Simon’s viewing pleasure. While it did resemble a scene from A Clockwork Orange, there was no denying that it was definitely grabbing his attention.

Our support system has been incredible. Loretta has babysit for us at least once every single weekend since Simon was born, allowing mom & dad to enjoy each other’s company in ways that we very often used to do before we became a family of three… going to the movies, eating dinner out at great restaurants, etc. My mom has been over several times as well, each time offering up her amazing house cleaning skills, and even taking care of our dinner (we still have several servings of her Motza ball soup stored in the freezer for those days when cooking seems impossible).

Marta’s dad Tom has stopped by on many of his trips home from Chicago, each time making a quick grocery stop or picking up take out for us to eat. Our wonderful neighbors across the street Wayne & Carol Greve, were kind enough to plow our entire driveway after Tuesday’s big snowfall, and Paul & Jill next door have offered to watch him anytime we “just need a break”. All of this is immensely helpful and we are extremely thankful to have these folks in our lives.

We’re looking forward to Lon & Roxy’s visit next week, and can’t wait to introduce them to their new little nephew. I wouldn’t be surprised if their visit results in us making some funny and/or ridiculous movie starring our little stinker!

Week Five Update Forthcoming...

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 10:49:00 -0500

We have passed the one month mark, and I’m going to let Daddy blog about Simon this week. But, I wanted to capture a few important milestones…

First trip to someone else’s house - Leslie’s for her superbowl party, wherein Simon mostly slept while Leslie’s cute little dog Charlie begged to regain our attention.
First almost “sleep through the night” - It was from 9:00 pm to 2:30 am, so I don’t think it counts, but last night Simon got his first 5 and a half hour non-stop sleep. I even had to move him from his bouncer to his crib in the middle of it, but that did not wake him!!
First sounds (first word?) - Just like the “What To Expect” book said… Simon has begun his voice career with lots of vowel sounds. There is “oh” and “ah” and my favorite “owww” (as in “oww, I hurt my finger”). There is also an occasional “I” which with his breathing gurgling sounds exactly like “HI!!”, which is very freaky when heard over the baby monitor.

All in all this week began very rough with some long exhausting days of fussiness. The pediatrician (besides remarking how healthy Simon gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks!!) thought it was excess gas. After reading that Health Sleep Habits book, I’m wondering if it wasn’t overtiredness. Either way… some consistent napping and many gas drops later… the week ended with a much happier and fun to be around little newborn. Who knows why, but I’m not questioning it.

Hopes for next week… a first smile just in time for Aunt Roxy and Uncle Lon’s visit.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:17:00 -0500

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child:

Recommended by my boss at Organic, I downloaded this book (thanks to the iPhone Kindle app) to read during my nightly breastfeedings. It totally appeals to my numbers, stats and science mindset… and also my love for recipes. Which may sound weird but I look at this book as a nice guide for making something like a good pasta bolognese only it’s a recipe for a healthy sleeping child. Mix 3 naps a day with an early bedtime and top off with naps in a dark quiet room and voilà!! Only I also understand (like good pasta bolognese) that creative substitution and personalization is required… I am not sure Simon’s bedtime will ever be 6 pm, but I can still try and give him consistency as early as possible.

Anyway, not sure if any of these techiques will work. But just the fact that the book talks about how 4-8 weeks is the fussiest and most frustrating time and why that is… makes me feel WAY better about my current situation with an irregular and increasingly fussy newborn.

Parenthood Update: Week Four

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:37:00 -0500

As we approach the one month line: erratic feedings, co-sleeping nightmares, the dreaded “C” word, and more things to freak out new parents…

Just when I was supposed to be watching for Simon’s feedings to get further apart, there they go getting closer together. I’m declaring it a “growth spurt”, because he sure feels heavier and longer and I can’t think of any other reason why he would all the sudden need to eat nearly every hour.

But then again, it’s been pretty erratic… forget looking forward to a normal sleeping schedule if your baby’s eating schedule is all over the map. It’s begun Tom questioning whether or not my milk production is up to snuff, which I shouldn’t take personally but in this crazy hormonal place that I am… I kinda do.

That’s the burden of breastfeeding. You are solely responsible for sustaining this young person’s life (yet again, pregnancy repeat), only now he is in the world to demand it from you on a regular (or not so regular) basis. Is he getting enough, is he getting too much? Did I wait long enough from that glass of wine? Do I need to watch my diet? Do I have to cut out dairy? Did my milk cause him to have gas pains?

And there it is… the dreaded “C” word: Colic. I know Simon doesn’t have anything close to colic, but last night I do think he was having horrible gas pains. The poor little guy would whimper strangely as he barely slept, and if I bounced his legs up and down… a series of loud and not so pleasant smelling farts would come out. I can’t for the life of me think of something I ate that would have all the sudden caused it, so I just have to wait and hope it doesn’t become a regular occurrence.

With the ridiculous warning labels on everything you buy, the crazy warnings about SIDS, and the looming fear of colic… it’s no wonder new parents are all a little bit nutty!!

Forget the fear and focus on the fun…
I decided to not really care so much about all this fear-mongering. I could walk around thinking about all the stuff I’m not supposed to do as a parent, but instead I’m trying to find the things that Simon and I can do together.

Our week this week has consisted of reading books, dancing around to music, exercising, looking at interesting patterns on the big screen TV, playing dress up and taking photos, and napping together. Simon is still too young to fully enjoy much of this, but it gives me time to practice being a parent. With so little awake alert time during the day, I feel like I need to force myself to use it.

But I also don’t try and be in his face all the time. Sometimes I marvel at how interested and content he seems staring up at the ceiling lights or squirming in his bouncer. I try to reassure myself it’s okay I take this time to myself, after all, he certainly lets me know when he needs to be held or feed.

I can’t say I’m not going a little stir crazy… questioning what I do and don’t do, all by myself in a house all day talking to the cats and a squirmy erratic adorable newborn. Sometimes I feel put together and enthralled with the smallest of moments. And other times I just need to cry a bit to let out the tension.

Milestones This Week
In general Simon seems more alert and visually interested in things. He spends a lot of time staring at ceiling lights or my face. He loves to be picked up so that he looks over my shoulder as I walk around the house. He is very physically active, still rolling over, but hasn’t progressed much in the way of making cute baby sounds.

Can I get an “ooooo”? It was faint each time, but I watched Simon do it on more than one occasion. When he was staring very intently at my face, I made an exaggerated “oooo” to see if he would imitate (something babies start to do into their second month). He looked very frustrated, but managed to give me a faint breathy “oooo” back.
No more umbilical cord!! I was just beginning to think it was never going to come off. Much to my surprise I felt a lump in the back of Simon’s onesie, and out rolled his dried up umbilical cord. Simon now has a belly button!!

Favorite Picture This Week
After some pretty rough nights, I often bring Simon into our bed to cuddle him back to sleep. All my exhaustion and frustration goes away as soon as I wake up to see this little angel yawning and stretching beside me.

Parenthood Update: Week Three

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:31:00 -0500

Seven to Eight Hours… The Impossible Dream
Sleeping through the night must be a myth right? A myth invented by people who have long been part of the parenthood club to taunt those who are newly joined. Why else would it be the first question everyone asks new parents? “So… how is he sleeping? Has he slept through the night yet?”

When you mention that your child is not part of the blessed “sleeping through the night” breed, you get sympathy and reassurance. Oh, it will happen eventually. You might also hear tales from other parents about how their babies slept through the night right away, as if that is supposed to make you feel better.

Well, whether people are telling the truth, or just choosing to forget those painful first weeks (months) of newborn life… It doesn’t make a difference to me. Simon is not going to sleep through the night any time soon, so stop asking please. My little alarm clock child is a hungry guy who needs to eat every two hours, and he will let you know about it. There is no sleeping through that.

So I measure success a bit differently… success for right now is Simon having solid 2 hour sleeps (maybe even 2.5 or 3 if I’m lucky), waking up, feeding, and immediately going back down for another 2 hour sleep until morning comes. No fussing, no waking up and needing to be held or entertained. We’ve had two nights like that this week, and right now I am counting myself lucky.

Besides… it’s amazing how quickly your body becomes trained for intermittent sleep. Tom slept in the basement earlier this week, before his first day back at work, and he admitted to waking up 3 times… hearing a baby crying when there was none. I also find myself waking up before Simon in anticipation of his next feeding. So I think the more important question is… when will I have my first sleep through the night?

What To Do With My Time, With Our Time
Now that I am home alone with Simon all day, I’m the sole decider on what we do together and what we do apart. It’s somewhat easy when he is asleep… I get time to pick-up, start dinner, blog, or maybe even take a nap if I also feel tired. Perhaps I should be napping more, but then I am giving up my only awake time by myself. And in a sense, at that point… I disappear completely from my own life.

When Simon is awake and crying, the decision is also somewhat easy. I do what needs to be done to take care of my child. Of course, how long do you let him cry? Do you put down everything you are doing the minute he starts? Or do you put up those last few dishes or type those last few words… especially when you know that solving his cries is going to mean a half hour breast feeding session and a diaper change.

Then when Simon is awake and not fussing, the decisions become even harder for me. What do I do? Normal household stuff, take it easy and watch movies, exercise… and how do I include him in the activity? Is just talking to him enough? Does he need to be held or touched all the time? Should I keep music on during the day to keep him stimulated?

Any time he sits there in his bouncer, bright-eyed and analyzing the world… do I stimulate him or let him be stimulated by himself? My mother defined this as the ultimate maternal question that will never ever go away… not when he is 2 months old and not when he is 25 years old. How much do you let your child be their own person and how much do you guide them and be with them?

Right now, I’m feeling the urge to err on the side of dependence. He is (after all) only 21 days old and very much in need of full time love and support. But while many women long for the days of dependence again after their child is grown, I am looking forward to a little bit more independence, where I can sit back proudly and watch him help himself grow and discover the world on his own.

Firsts This Week

First Day Back At Work: Tom went back to work this week, which I’m sure can’t be easy… lack of sleep, and coming home to a little one who is only awake (if you are lucky) for a few hours. Although motherhood can be exhausting on some days, I am very happy that I still have another 5 weeks or so to enjoy here at home.
First Night In The Crib: To coincide with Tom’s first week back at work, we also decided to start having Simon sleep in his crib. So far, it’s actually been an advantage to help the two of us sleep better. Although there is still at least once a night where we need to bring him into our bed to get back to sleep without crying.
First Poop Explosion On The Go: Of course, I dress Simon up in a cute little outfit to go visit Goldsound and Organic, and the minute we pull him out of the car seat, we can smell something not so good. Luckily I had packed an extra onesie, lesson learned.
First Workplace Visit: Tom and I both walked Simon around our workplaces. It was nice to be at Organic and not talk once about work, only babies :) Many people told us that Simon looks a lot like me, and of course that he is a cutie.
First Mail for Simon: Well, first mail (social security card) and his first package care of Ryan Sinon. Haven’t opened it yet, because a Ryan Sinon package is one of those things you wait and open with your husband. I can only imagine the coolest of stuff will be contained inside.

Favorite Picture This Week

Daddy dances around the living room to Duran Duran with Simon. When Simon is awake and alert, he loves being tossed around and handled, whether it’s exercising with Mommy or dancing with Daddy :)

Parenthood Update: Week Two

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:14:00 -0500

As expected, Simon’s second week proves to be a little bit more draining and challenging… sleepless nights, frequent feedings, and confusing crying fits, all the joys of being a new parent.

Do Simons Dream of Electric Boobs?
I struggle with how much to let Simon sleep during the days, but he seems so peaceful and adorable. The minute I put him on my chest and he listens to my heartbeat he passes out in my arms. I’m also curious as to whether or not he dreams… sometimes he will startle himself during his sleep, his little arms and legs shooting straight out. Is it just a mess of colors and sounds in his sleepy head, memories of the womb?

But Simon is not the only one with strange dreams this week… the lack of a regular night rhythm is causing Simon to creep into not just my dreams, but Tom’s too. Tom dreamed that newborn Simon turned to him like in a horror film and asked “Daddy, why do you hate me?”. I dreamed that Tom and I were out shopping and I realized I had left Simon at home with no one watching him for hours.

It’s weird that guilt and bad parenting has manifested in both of our brains during the night. It must be the result of the complex emotions of wanting sleep for yourself, but also wanting this new companion to be happy and not always being able to please him as easily as you had hoped.

Our Little Puzzle Box
One day at a time… that’s the motto for this week. Simon is a peach during the days (most of the time), but nighttime is a different story. Sometimes he will sleep for a 3 hour block and it will seem like things are going to be okay. Sometimes he will fidget and fuss for an hour or more, not all out cry the whole time, but it’s obvious he’s awake and it’s hard to tell what he wants or needs. Putting him down only leads to more crying. Some nights where this happens enough, we find ourselves going a little crazy.

That’s the other thing… his needs are becoming more complex. It’s not always a wet diaper or hunger, now there is the desire to be swaddled, the desire to be unswaddled, craving the pacifier, the desire to be held or paid attention to, or sometimes too much stimulation and not enough rest. It’s hard to tell what calms him down. Did he really want the pacifier, or did he want to be fed and we just happened to make him forget for half an hour?

It’s hard enough to decode for ourselves, and then you add in the flood of differing opinions out there. Pediatrician says to start moving him slowly towards a schedule after the first week, but many books and friends say wait. Too early for a pacifier? Too early for a rattle? Too early for tummy time? Too early for a bedtime routine?

Every book will give you a different opinion, and I’m still trying to find my own “style” (although it feels too new to have a style). It also feels too early to let him “cry it out” or become independently amused, but the “attachment parenting” techniques are incredibly draining. While co-sleeping seems to help Simon sometimes, it certainly doesn’t help mommy or daddy get any sleep. Simon screamed bloody murder when I tried to put him in a baby-wearing sling, but at the same time he doesn’t want to be put down more and more.

And so I try and balance… but it’s hard to know if I’m doing the right thing.

Trying To Appreciate The Present
My goal for next week is to try and give into my situation more and appreciate the present. It has been really tempting for me this week to look not only back (at the freedoms we so recently had) but also to look forward. I want so badly to be able to take Simon for walks in a stroller, to read to him and have him enjoy it… to tickle his belly and have him laugh, to make him new food to try… to have him interact rather than stare off into a daze.

But he is sweet and in so much need of us. He doesn’t throw tantrums or create huge messes. He doesn’t tell me he hates me or that I am ruining his life… and although he also can’t tell me he loves me, I know he does. So while I have the time off, I am dedicated to trying to enjoy my little eating, pooping, feeding, sometime cross-eyed, barely interactive, highly precious lump. Or else what am I here for?

Firsts This Week

First Roll Over: When everyone was watching at our “Simon meet and greet” this weekend, Simon had his first full roll over during tummy time (which he still hates).
First Day Out: Tom and I decided to not be cooped up in this house, and to take Simon out to lunch after his doctor’s appointment. He mostly slept while we enjoyed some tasty beer.
First Toy: Pratibha got us a colorful rattle we’ve been using to see how Simon’s vision is developing. Sometimes he is interested and sometimes not so much

Favorite Picture(s) of the Week

Daddy’s Favorite

Mommy’s Favorite